The Wife Of Your Youth

Rejoice In The Wife Of Your Youth

The Bible says in Proverbs 5, verses 15 through 20 “Drink waters out of your own cistern [of a pure marriage relationship], and fresh running waters out of your own well.

Should your offspring be dispersed abroad as water brooks in the streets?

[Confine yourself to your own wife] let your children be for you alone, and not the children of strangers with you.

Let your fountain [of human life] be blessed [with the rewards of fidelity], and rejoice in the wife of your youth.

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant doe [tender, gentle, attractive]—let her bosom satisfy you at all times, and always be transported with delight in her love.

Why should you, my son, be infatuated with a loose woman, embrace the bosom of an outsider, and go astray?”

The word ‘rejoice’ is a verb…an action word, it is not a feeling, it is something you do. It means to show great joy or delight. I have thought about it over and over again, why would God want a husband to rejoice in his wife and why the term “of your youth”?

Note! This is not the same as “rejoice in your young wife”…

The ‘wife of your youth’ is that girl you married when you both were younger.

That girl you could not wait to tell anyone that cared to listen, how much she meant to you.

You want to know the wife of your youth? Grab your wedding pictures and look over and over again…

That is the mental picture God wants you to keep in your mind.

That girl that chose to love you, trust you and be vulnerable with you.

That girl that chose you over everyone else

That girl you used to jump for joy when you realized she was the one calling

That girl that saw you when you had nothing but believed in you and your dreams.

That girl that saw what you could become and chose to be part of the process and not just an opportunistic ‘consumer’.

That girl that has remained faithful to you through the years, despite your weaknesses and failings, through the many hardships, by the grace of God.

She is not something you can trade in for a ‘newer model’…Malachi 2:14 says “You cry out, "Why doesn't the LORD accept my worship?" I'll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows”.

That vow you made on your wedding day was not just formality, it was a covenant between both of you and God.

Remember when the priest said "Do you take this woman/man to be your wife/husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor, and keep her/him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?"

And you said “I do”? That’s when the covenant was cut.

There are men that would be unfaithful, even if they married ‘Miss World’ and she stayed young forever…however, there are people that never planned to be unfaithful but somehow they just found themselves romantically attracted to other people.

A romantic attraction to someone other than one’s spouse could indicate that there is a gap/disconnect; and/or a husband and a wife are not paying attention to each other’s needs. It could be the husband continually ignoring the wife or the wife constantly criticizing the husband. Before you know it, another person (It could be at work or even the church) seems to possess the very qualities that are lacking in one’s mate. This person just starts appearing as the ‘PERFECT’ mate. Soon a bond forms, and the new relationship becomes almost irresistibly alluring. One thing leads to another and voila.

 

There are men that got ensnared while trying to comfort/be there for sisters that are going through issues in their marriage.

 

Sir, avoid becoming the personal/sole confidant of a sister who is experiencing perplexing difficulties in marriage. Let such a sister know that marital problems are best discussed with her husband or with a mature Christian sister who knows/practices God’s counsel regarding marriage.

 

Sir, at work and everywhere else, be wary of situations that might foster unnecessary closeness and intimacy between you and another woman. The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:22 “Flee from all appearance of evil”…don’t wait to find out if it is evil. When it comes to evil, please be paranoid.

 

Spending (non-work related) time with a lady you already know you are attracted to at work, can easily set the stage for temptation. Flirting with a person like this, is equally dangerous…keep your compliments to yourself.

 

As a married man, ALWAYS make it clear in your speech and by your demeanor that you are simply not available. Having pictures of your wife and children conspicuously displayed around the work area will serve as a visual reminder to you and to others that you have priorities.

 

Determine never to encourage/ tolerate seductive precursors from any woman. The Bible talks about Job that made a covenant with his eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman Job 31:1

 

Be cautious of women that know you are married but are always giving you the ‘looks’ and always saying sweet things about you in a way that makes you uncomfortable…Proverbs 5:3-4 says “As a honeycomb the lips of a strange woman keep dripping, and her palate is smoother than oil. But the aftereffect from her is as bitter as wormwood; it is as sharp as a two-edged sword.” 

 

Guard your heart...the Bible says in Proverbs 4:23 “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life”. 

 

Sir, do not look outside your marriage to satisfy your desires…whether for friendship, support (during a challenging ordeal) or for affection. Seeking solace in a romance/relationship outside of marriage is never the answer to marital problems. That’s why you have a wife…that’s her job.

“But she doesn’t get me…” you say

Make her get you; speak to her in a language she understands.

Work with her to build/solidify a loving relationship.

Spend time together, draw closer to each other.

Never forget what caused you to fall in love with her.

Recapture the warmth you felt towards her that made you choose her as your future partner.

Decorate your heart with ‘frames of good memories’ made together…hang them on the walls of your heart. Think of the good times you have enjoyed together.

Above all, pray for God’s intervention. 

Always remember…

Life is too short for the needless drama

There is so much that God has entrusted in our hands that we will give account of

Time is a luxury we don’t have (who promised you tomorrow)

Live with the consciousness that it doesn’t end ‘here’…how we live ‘here’ determines where we live ‘there’

Ecclesiastes 9 verse 9 says Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun--all your meaningless days. For this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.

 

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