The Exchange (Part 7)

Laide told me they were travelling to Paris for their honeymoon and wanted me to stay for a few more days until she travelled. I sent my mum to Tunji to let him know I would be staying for 3 more days and I would see him as soon as I got back.

I helped Laide to count how much money she was ‘sprayed’ while dancing…my God! Let me just say that I made close to ten thousand naira (trust me, that was a lot of money back then…I had never even had or handled that much money in my life); that should give you an idea of how much money Laide was ‘sprayed’. Baba T offered to drop Laide and her husband at the airport and I came with them.

After they departed, Baba T offered to drop me at Abeokuta; it was already evening so I opted for public transportation. He insisted that he would drop me at home but I was scared as I didn’t want him to know where I lived and I also didn’t want any issues with Tunji. He wouldn’t listen and just kept driving towards Abeokuta…he said his mum would not forgive him if he told her that he didn’t take me home. “And how would she know?” I asked.
He replied that she would ask him.

“Don’t you know that my mum likes you?” he added. I had this uncomfortable grin on my face and Baba T continued by telling me the story of how he almost married an ‘oyinbo’ (a Caucasian) while in the United Kingdom and how the lady had introduced him to heroin and how it almost ruined his life. How his father used everything within his power to get him clean and rehabilitated and back to school. How his father helped him to complete his education. How his mum made sure he came back to Nigeria to join the family business after he graduated and how his mum swore that she would see to it that he married a Yoruba girl. He told me he’s an only child and that his mum could not wait for him to get married.

I asked what was delaying him and he responded that he tried dating a few girls after he got back but there were issues and besides, his mum had never liked any girl he brought home. I asked what he meant by “there were issues” and he told me not to worry about it. As we were approaching Abeokuta, I was secretly praying that Tunji would not be in our house when we arrived.

When we got home, Baba T helped me with my luggage…he also came in and said hello to my mum (who was shocked to see him). My eldest brother was also at home when we arrived and for whatever reason, he was very pleased to see Baba T. They talked for a while and when Baba T was about to leave, he gave some money to my mum; who somewhat hesitated but had to take it because the giver insisted.

“What are you doing?” was my mum’s question as soon as I entered the house after seeing my ‘visitor’ off.

“Maami, I don’t understand what you are saying” was my response. My mum was not very happy as she went on and on about how greed could cause a person to make wrong decisions.

“Be content with what God gave you”

“Don’t be distracted because of what you saw at your cousin’s wedding”

“Tunji is a good boy and he will make you happy. Don’t let money entice you”
I was getting really angry at my mum because Baba T had not even said he wanted to date me. I told her it was our roles at the wedding that brought us together, made us friends and there was nothing else to it.

“When a child is cutting a tree in the forest, only the elders can tell in which direction it where it will fall” my mum said and she stopped talking about it.
My mum was never the nagging type; she would say what’s on her mind and let you make your own decision

PART 6                                                                                       PART 8

Picture Credit (c) madamenoire.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental 

© 2016 Lanre Olagbaju All Rights Reserved

The Exchange (Part 6)

When we talked about my late dad he felt sorry for me, I could see the sincerity in his eyes…he said he could imagine life if he had lost his dad and told me the story of how his dad helped him to overcome some challenges that could have gotten him expelled from school while studying abroad.

Baba T dropped me off at our own hotel later that evening. As he was leaving he said “I think I like you”, all I could say was "thank you" as I hurried into the lobby. Laide was already very angry because she had no idea where we were. I quickly apologized and blamed it on the best man. She later told me that Baba T’s mum had been asking questions about me and wanted to know things about my family. “Don’t mind them, they are looking to add an extra to the wife they already got” I said as I made my way into the bathroom.

The following day was super busy, it was the day of the traditional wedding and I was with Baba T for the most part. We were running around to make sure everything went on perfectly. At a point, he asked if I could drive and wanted to hand me a car key so I could run some other errands…that way we would be able to cover more grounds before the ceremony that was slated for that evening. I told him I couldn’t drive and he promised to take care of that as soon as we were done with the wedding. In my mind, I was like “Where will you see me?”

As we drove around town, Baba T continued his ‘interrogation’ and wanted to know more about my mum and siblings. I told him of my eldest brother that was working with the government and had just gotten the job. Bab-T asked if he would be attending the wedding and I said yes…he said he would like to meet with him and have a chat.

 

The ceremony was nothing short of glamorous…everything was well planned and nothing was lacking. Food, drinks, decorations, clothes, accessories, the band was a high class Juju musician. That was the first time I saw people getting gifts for their traditional wedding. The couple got about 3 brand new cars from friends of the groom’s family. The money I made on the dance floor almost brought me to tears. Baba T and his friends showered me with lots of money as they sprayed endlessly (it was like a planned thing). My mum called me at the end of the ceremony and asked who the “Darosha’ was (Da rocha was the name of a Brazilian merchant that was believed to be the richest Nigerian a long time ago and people used the term derogatorily for a flaunter of wealth). I told him it was the man that gave me the money I showed her the last time I came to Lagos. She nodded her head for a while and told me to be careful (again).

Later that night, I introduced my eldest brother (Brother Kola, like I call him) to Baba T and they talked for a long time. I had to go back to the hotel with Laide to prepare for the big day. I thought the traditional wedding was glamorous until I saw the church wedding. Every detail had an aura of affluence…the groom and his family went all out to make the day extra special. Laide just kept shedding tears of joy and I couldn’t help but do the same. The Groom’s father talked about how he (the groom) had been a good boy from childhood and this was just a little way of showing how proud he was of him. It was during the reception that the groom’s father unveiled the secret present…a brand new fully furnished house where the newly wed would start their family.

I was in awe of the gifts they received…there’s no way they could have used everything they were given. I doubt if they had enough room in their house to even contain the gifts. I was the custodian of the bride’s money, that people were ‘spraying’ her…it was tiring, as the bags were getting filled up fast. Baba T and his friends ‘soaked’ me in money again at the reception when we were dancing with the couple…he did the same for my mum (I wasn’t sure how he knew that was my mum).

There was an all-night party that continued till Sunday morning…people ate and ate but the food and drinks kept coming. There were lots of eminent personalities and dignitaries at the wedding and indeed they shut Lagos down like Laide had said.

PART 5                                                                                       PART 7

 

Picture Credit (c) 123rf.com

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental 

© 2016 Lanre Olagbaju All Rights Reserved

The Exchange (Part 5)

It was at the restaurant that the would-be best man started to talk to me. He told me his name…Babatunde, but said everyone called him Baba T. He seemed like a nice guy but I could sense some form of arrogance in him. He said we needed to be friends to make the wedding beautiful; he was funny and made us laugh a lot. I got to know, as we talked, that Baba T’s parents were even richer than Laide’s parents-in-law. The amount of money they (Bola and Baba T) were discussing scared me…they talked about how they wanted to take their parents’ business to the next level and make it even bigger. They had both studied in the United Kingdom and returned to work in the family business.

After lunch, it was time to go back to where I came from. Bola was going to drop me off at the motor park but his cousin volunteered to…he said it was on his way and he also wanted to get to know me. He didn’t say much on our way; he was just being funny and explained what I needed to do at the wedding because there was a surprise for the couple that we had to take care of, without creating any suspicion. He gave me some money at the park and said he was sorry he couldn’t take me to Abeokuta. I told him he didn’t have to; he insisted, so I took it, thanked him and got in the bus. It was after he left that I realized how much he gave me. I had forgotten I was in the bus as I screamed…I apologized to the people beside me and kept my cool for the rest of the trip. I had never been given that much money by anyone in my life…I wanted to tell Tunji but was afraid he could be intimidated or feel like something was going on and I didn’t want to start something where there’s nothing.

I told my mum everything that happened in Lagos and showed her the money…she paused for a while and later told me to be careful. Let me just say that the money was enough to buy an adjustable salon hair dryer I had been saving toward. I had to tell Tunji that my cousin gave me some money and I added to what I had saved to get the dryer.

I completely forgot about the ‘rich princes of Lagos’ and continued with my life until it was time to travel for the wedding. Tunji had planned to attend but had another engagement so he passed.

I got to Lagos about 4 days before the wedding…my mum and brother came three days later to attend the traditional engagement ceremony. I stayed with Laide in a hotel room. Her father-in-law said he wanted her to stay there because of all the visitors that would be frequenting the house. The groom and Baba T also stayed in another hotel, not too far from where we were. It was on the night of my arrival, at a dinner held at the groom’s house, that the best man told me everything about the surprise that the groom’s parents had for couple.

They had built the couple a house, to be presented to them as a wedding gift and wanted us to secretly move their stuff to that house (I later figured that was the reason for having them stay at the hotel rooms). It was an assignment to be executed by the best man and I, without ruining the surprise. During the dinner I couldn’t keep my eyes off how beautiful and tastefully furnished the house was…the cars in the compound, they even had cooks and maids. I was happy for my cousin and a little bit jealous of her at the same time. I thought to myself “Ó ti rí ibi ire sọ ęru ę k’alę sí” meaning she found a good place to settle in and live her life. I met Baba T’s parents as well and greeted them. Laide introduced me as her cousin…they all said I was respectful and well trained and Baba-T’s mum said jokingly that she wouldn’t mind ‘plucking’ another girl from our family (referring to me). I smiled, although embarrassed and walked away.

I was with Baba T all through Thursday as we supervised the moving of the couple’s things to their new home and got things set up. He was fun and really nice to me…he also took me out for lunch. I seized that opportunity to thank him for the money he gave me the first time we met. His response was “Don’t mention, beauty has no price tag”

I wasn’t sure of what he meant by that, but I smiled and thanked him again. He asked me a lot of questions that day; like he wanted to really know me. He said I had confidence and spoke very good English but I could tell he was concerned that I didn’t have post-secondary education. He said I should have still gotten it regardless of my entrepreneurial spirit as it would help me handle my business better. I told him he was beginning to sound like my late father and he said he was sorry but wasn’t done talking about it and would get back to it later. I figured I had just 3 more days to spend in Lagos and that would be it…so I indulged him. Besides, it felt good to have these conversations as I had not really done this before.

PART 4                                                                                       PART 6

Picture Credit (c) etsy.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental 

© 2016 Lanre Olagbaju All Rights Reserved

The Exchange (Part 4)

My relationship with Tunji was more or less an engagement but nothing was official…I’m sure if people gave engagement rings back then, I would have been wearing one.

I was considered ‘marked’, everyone knew I had a boyfriend…my mum would introduce him as “Ǫkǫ Àfęsǫnà” which means Fiancé in Yoruba Language. Later my mum started suggesting that we should get pregnant but Tunji would just laugh and tell her not to worry, that we would give her all the grandchildren she was looking for. Tunji made a vow of chastity with me and had said we would wait till our wedding night before we ‘did’ anything. He would say “What’s the point of rushing to have a taste when you can easily have the whole pot for keeps”

Not long after that, a cousin of mine, Laide, who lived in Lagos was getting married and it was going to be a big party…that was the first grandchild of my maternal grandmother that was getting married so the whole family was all agog.

Laide and I were very close growing up…she would come spend some time with us during her school breaks and I would do the same during my holidays. We kind of drifted apart when she got admission into the University of Ibadan. She came with her mum (my mum’s elder sister) to inform us of her wedding.

It was nice seeing her again…the last time I saw her was when she stopped by after my dad’s demise. unlike that visit, this time, we had time to talk and we did for hours. She told me everything about her fiancé.

How they met at the University of Ibadan, when he came to visit his  younger sister that happened to be Laide's friend,

How he studied Medicine abroad but is now working in his father's company

How he’s from a wealthy family

How they are planning to shut Lagos down for the wedding

She went on and on and on about how this was a fairytale come true for her.

How she already got a brand new car from her would-be father-in-law for saying yes to his son

How she would be travelling abroad with her fiancé to shop for the wedding

And finally she said she wanted me to be her chief bridesmaid (we called it ‘best lady’ back then)

I couldn’t say No, I was super excited for her…she took my measurements and shoe size so she could get me the things needed on their shopping trip.

They were with us the whole weekend and she met Tunji…
“Hmmmn, he’s so handsome” was all she said and they left Sunday evening.

My mum and her sister (Laide’s mum) already made arrangements for the “Asọ òkè” (the traditional head gear and cap for family members to wear at the wedding). They would meet at Ibadan some weeks later to go pick one and buy in bulk. Laide told me to come to Lagos before the wedding, she told me when she would be back from her trip and wanted me to come try my clothes and other things on…in case they would need adjustments. After they left, my mum still took a jab at me and Tunji, saying we should get something done soon.

My cousin got back and I quickly travelled to Lagos to go see her…the things she brought for me were beautiful. She bought everything needed to be the chief bridesmaid up to undies. I met her fiancé (Bola) for the first time as well. I also met the best man who happened to be the groom’s cousin. I noticed the way he was looking at me...I wasn’t sure I liked it.

Bola took us out to have lunch and his cousin came with us…I had never seen such lavish generosity in my life.

Poverty is a bastard…the restaurant he took us to…

The car we drove in…

The people we met at the restaurant….

I was seriously intimidated but I kept it together. I told myself I would just sit quietly and return to my Abeokuta after everything.

PART 3                                                                                       PART 5

 

Picture Credit (c) claytonladuerotary.org
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental 

© 2016 Lanre Olagbaju All Rights Reserved

The Exchange (Part 3)

Tunji came the next day like he said he would and that was the beginning of our relationship. It was like a match made in heaven. My dad was the last person to warm up to him in my family but it didn’t take long at all. Tunji had this charisma that made people like him; he‘s soft spoken, calm and focused…all the qualities of a young man well brought up. Tunji was an orphan that had lost his parents at an early age…he had been passed around different family members’ homes while growing up. At a point, he lived with one of his teachers; who took him in because he didn’t want him to stop school. Tunji was a very brilliant student...he wanted to study Medicine but he didn’t have the financial capability, so he opted for engineering. That must have been another thing that endeared him to my father.

About a year after we started dating officially, Tunji completed his Higher National Diploma. Back then, only University graduates were allowed to go through the National Youth Service Program…so he moved back to Abeokuta, where I lived, and got a job as a teacher in one of the secondary schools. At the end of that same year, I completed my training as a beautician and hairdresser. I opened my own beauty salon and as expected, people started pestering us to get married. Tunji already rented an apartment and was running after-school classes to make some extra money. Government jobs were good back then and in no time, Tunji had furnished his apartment and gotten a car loan to purchase his car. It was a Volks Wagon beetle…I remember the first day he brought it to my shop. I sat in front with such poise, as he drove me home. My parents prayed for him and blessed the car.

Not long after this, my dad took ill and passed…it was devastating for the whole family; it was one of the darkest moments of my life. Tunji stood by me, he was equally hurting because my dad had grown quite fond of him; there were things he would tell him before telling me (her daughter). Tunji helped me to heal and move on. He would talk to all of us and use himself as an example of how God would never leave us even if our dad passed. He would tell stories of the things he had been through as an orphan and how God showed up for him. I’m sure some of the people that came to sympathize would have easily mistaken him for one of the deceased’s biological children. He would sit with my mum and console her…he would cajole her to eat and encourage her to be strong because she was all we had left.

Somehow we pulled through and gathered our lives together. After a while, I noticed that my mum was nudging me to get married so we could have a reason to celebrate and be joyful in the family. She would ask questions like

“What are you people waiting for?”

She would say things like…

“A woman is supposed to get married latest by 25, since she does not have a lifetime of fertility”

She even called Tunji and had a discussion with him…Tunji told her not to worry as he was trying to put some things in place and very soon he would make it happen.

I loved Tunji, he was everything a woman could ask for in a man but I wasn’t going to rush him. I just believed he must have his reasons for taking things slow. He already told me he would marry me but needed a little time to “put things together” (that was his phrase).

I could understand why my mum was on my case, as my elder brothers were not even thinking about marriage at that time. Our eldest had graduated and was working in the Public Sector. He had just gotten the job and was still settling in; he wasn’t even in any serious relationship.  The one after him studied Pharmacy and was rounding up; the remaining two were studying the same course at the same university and were just a year apart.

PART 2                                                                                       PART 4

Picture Credit (c) idakarayan.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental 

© 2016 Lanre Olagbaju All Rights Reserved

The Loudest Ain't NecessarilyThe Best/Highest Quality

Everybody knows the vintage pony and big pony crests of Ralph Lauren tops/shirts/polos

They are bold, beautiful, loud and at times, flamboyant with all the other ‘decals’ and tabs and names stitched on them.

Little wonder there are so many imitations of them with ponies that have bowlegs, some with headless riders, some with baseball bats instead of Polo sticks, some that you would not even see on the official Ralph Lauren website and wonder who made them

I remember how a club, when I was still in the University, would give intending members the authenticity test of Ralph Lauren shirts and if you could tell an authentic from a fake, you were considered fashionable and worthy of their club membership

I also love the shirts and I am in no way condemning wearing or owning them

Some of us love these shirts because people can easily tell that we are wearing designer clothes

Some of us love these shirts because we consider them of higher/better quality

Some of us love these shirts because everyone we consider cool is wearing them

Some of us would break banks to own them

Some of us would wait until they go on clearance to own them

Some of us would buy them second hand/fairly used just to own them

 

Picture Credit (c) www.ralphlauren.com

I know of other brands of Ralph Lauren shirts called the black label and the purple label

They hardly have crests or big ponies.

You may not be able to tell they are Ralph Lauren shirts if  you are ONLY familiar with the ‘loudness’ and flamboyance

One Purple label Ralph Lauren shirt could be the price of 10 of those louds ones (the ones most of us like)

The popular ones are no match for the "inconspicuous" ones in terms of quality and value

 

Apply this concept to life and you will see that loudness, followership, and popularity does not necessarily imply quality and value.

Quality and value are seldom mass produced

You listen to 10 songs and they all sound the same…you listen to one and it makes you pause

 

Picture Credit (c) www.ralphlauren.com

 

Those that CAN AFFORD purple label know it when they see it

Have you ever found yourself in a position where you feel you are being outshined by someone simply because they are ‘louder’?

Keep your quality, keep your value…one day those who KNOW what you carry will find you out and pay you what you are worth.

#QualityWillAlwaysOutlastQuantity

#QualityCannotBeMassProduced

#BeAPurpleLabel