we have been tasked with the role of raising our children in
the discipline and admonition of the Lord according to Ephesians 6:4...But there is a uniqueness
to each child and this suggests we can’t use a one-size-fits-all approach.
A better approach is the shepherd’s approach, can also
be called the K-F-G approach
A shepherd KNOWS his sheep – KNOW your children Proverbs
27:23 says “Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and look well to your
herds”. Know what works for each child through frequent conversation.
There are
children that require extra effort on the parent’s side to get them to open up.
This communication structure and the trust have to be in place from when the
children are young…don’t wait until they turn teenagers.
For your children to open up to you, they must see you as available and approachable…it’s beyond saying “You can come to me anytime”.
Children go with what they see, not what they hear.
Do not discount their feelings (I’m so guilty of this), do
not interrupt and do not judge…PATIENTLY LISTEN and give your advice.
When your kids ask sensitive questions, DO NOT start with
emphasis on the warnings (Col 3:21 says “…do not exasperate your children, lest
they become discouraged”.
Look at this statement “Eating exposes you to the risk of
food poisoning”. Although the statement is true, nobody wants that on the first
page of the menu at a restaurant. Find a balanced approach that neither scars
nor desensitizes. Don’t say too much and don’t scare them into frigidity.
A shepherd FEEDS the sheep – FEED your children. This talks
about nurturing beyond food. A shepherd can tell when a sheep is getting
malnourished. In feeding your children, act quickly if you notice potential
weak spots. Work with them to fortify areas where they need to be strengthened.
Feed your children physically and also spiritually. Have meaningful,
scriptural, God-centered discussions with them. Let them know WHAT they believe
and WHY they believe. Feed them beyond the nominal affiliation with Christ. God
said this about Abraham in Gen 18:19 “For I know him, that he will command his
children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD…”
Lastly, a shepherd GUIDES the sheep – GUIDE your children.
A shepherd uses a staff to direct and also defend his flock.
Guidance suggests discipline…knowing when to get the sheep back in line.
Guidance suggests there is a destination and a path that leads to it. It
suggests keeping the sheep on the path to that destination. Guidance implies
leading by example, taking charge and being in the forefront. You cannot guide
a child in a way you do not follow. That is hypocrisy and when they find you out,
you lose your credibility as a shepherd. There are times that guidance means
trusting the sheep to go on their own while following closely to be sure they
are on the right path. Guidance is not only about the staff/rod, the sheep
should also know the shepherds voice and call so they come to him when he
calls.
May we not fail God in this assignment He has given to us as
parents in Jesus’ name
