Sandra's Quagmire

Sandra was a teller at one of the New Generation banks on Lagos Island and she had noticed this particular customer that would always wait until her window was free and walk up to her to do his business. Other members of Sandra’s team had noticed it as well…even her manager would say “your ‘customer’ is here”, anytime the guy walked in.

The guy would thank her, smile and walk away after every transaction. The guy had never said more than “how are you?” and those other short silence fillers.

The guy came in on this day, looked at her for a while and said “wow, nice hairstyle…sits great on you”.

Sandra was not sure what to make of it, she said thank you and could not help but blush. “By the way, my name is Mike. I’m sure you already know” he said as he was about to leave. “My name is Sandra” she replied.

“I know, it’s on your badge…I’ve always known. Nice talking to you” the guy said as he walked away.

From that day on, anytime this guy came in, he would chat with Sandra for a little bit…he seemed to like her but it looked like something was holding him back.

Sandra was like most single female bankers in Nigeria…the nature of her job and the time she put into it, made it very hard to have a social life. Her last boyfriend left her because he kept complaining that she did not have time for him.
She did everything to make it work but the demands of her job strained the relationship and did not allow it to blossom. The last she heard of the guy was that he was getting married.

Sandra was in her early thirties and pressure was mounting from her family that kept telling her to “settle down”. She had left her mum’s place in anger a couple of times when she visited her in Akure.

“Do you think I don’t want to get married? Or will I conjure a man from thin air?” she told her mum, on one of those occasions.

Her mum did not seem to care about her excuses but kept reminding her of all her friends that she grew up with, who had gotten married already.

Sandra recently gave her life to Christ and was just getting a hang of her new Christian faith. It was different from the Christianity that she grew up practicing. She was raised to pray in the morning and to do her best to be good to everyone.

She had always had a lot of questions with only a few, not so satisfactory, answers until a friend invited her to a church on the Island where she saw a totally different kind of Christianity. The word that day came as if the pastor knew all the questions she had been carrying in her mind for years. She could not remain on her seat when they made the altar call. She rushed out with tears in her eyes as she surrendered all to Jesus.

She had been trying to nurture this new found relationship but her job had really held her back. Once in a while she would catch up with the mid-week service as they were rounding up. She tried her best to attend Sunday services regularly but she had not been able to register for the new believers’ class.

One Wednesday afternoon at work, Mike (her strange customer) walked in as usual and after his transaction asked what she was doing later that evening.

“You know us bankers…I do not see myself leaving this place until after 7pm” she said. “What about this weekend then?” Mike asked again.

“I will check my schedule and get back to you…if you give me your number” she responded.

“Don’t worry, give me yours…I’ll call you” Mike said as he handed his phone to Sandra to punch her number in.

“He looks like a nice guy” Ngozi (her nosy colleague) said

“I don’t know o…I don’t even know what he wants to talk about” Sandra responded

“What else? Are you trying to tell me you haven’t noticed the way he looks at you anytime he comes around?” Ngozi said again

“Not at all…I won’t jump the gun on this one, I’ve done that in the past with nothing to show for it. I will wait to hear what he has to say” Sandra replied.

Later that evening, Sandra was just getting into her apartment when her phone rang, it was a private number…she almost did not pick up because of the stories she had heard of scammers calling with private numbers. She later chose to pick the call and hang up if she did not know the caller.

“Hi, how was your day at work” said the person on the other side of the line. The voice sounded a little familiar;

“Fine…thanks” she responded.

“This is Mike; I hope it’s not too late” the person said.

“Of course not, I actually just got in” she responded

They talked for a while and agreed to see each other the next Saturday afternoon.
Mike offered to pick her up at her house but she insisted on meeting with him at a restaurant on the Island. They met on Saturday as arranged; Mike was already waiting at the restaurant. It was not a bad first outing; they focused on getting to know each other better. Sandra liked him…he was well-mannered and had a good sense of humor. Something did not feel right though…she felt like Mike was hiding something. She shrugged it off but decided not to let her guard down.

Her friends at work could not wait to hear the full gist of how everything went the following Monday.

“So how did it go?” Ngozi asked.

“Not too bad for a first date” Sandra responded

“Sounds like there will be another…” Ngozi said with that “I told you so” look on her face

“Well, I won’t say no…the guy is really cool” said Sandra as she tried to hide the smile on her face.

Three months passed and things had gotten a little more serious between Sandra and Mike. It was looking good but Sandra still felt like something was wrong.
Mike would always excuse himself to go take a call. If he took a call in Sandra's presence, he would just blurt a couple of words and end the call. There was a day he took a call, they were driving on 3^rd mainland bridge…it was late at night. Mike had come to pick her at work and all he said on the call was “Driving now, will call you later”.
She wanted to ask who Mike was talking to but didn’t want to appear as intrusive…then Mike said “that’s a friend of mine in the US, he wants me to help him get a landed property but he calls at odd times. Will call him back when I get home”. She also noticed that Mike never invited her to his house…he would rather they hung out at his friend’s place in Magodo or at Sandra’s place. Sandra lived by herself in a self-contained apartment in Maryland.

When she took it up with him, Mike told her he was living with his uncle and did not want to entertain his guests at his uncle’s place. Mike said he was building a house in Mowe along Lagos-Ibadan expressway and did not think it was financially wise for him to rent a house when he was almost done building his own. He took Sandra there a couple of times and indeed the house was almost completed.

Mike was a stockbroker and he made good money, Sandra also noticed that he always had International wire transfers coming into his account and lots of Western Union transfers. Mike’s answer was that he had a lot of contacts in the United States and he was helping them to get landed properties and even build houses.
It started with one of them and because he did a good job, others trusted him with their money and he loved the fact that he was able to help people and make some money at the same time.

“Most of these people had trusted family members with their money and regretted it…I know a guy who got swindled by his own father. He had sent a lot of money, the father sent him pictures of a building project and when the guy came home, there was nothing…the father didn’t even buy a bag of cement”. Mike added.

Sandra felt happy that he had such a smart, trustworthy and honest guy as a boyfriend…Mike was not very religious but he would follow Sandra to church once in a while.
Sandra stopped bothering herself with the international calls after she figured they were calls from Mike’s international clients…the people he was helping. 
“You know you can become a big real estate consultant? And own your own business one of these days” Sandra said to Mike and his response was “Yes baby, that’s the bigger picture”.
.
.
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 “So have you guys done it?” Ngozi asked Sandra one Monday morning.
Ngozi was one of those people that had no respect for personal space and didn’t see any question as too personal. She had been like a relationship advisor to Sandra since this relationship with Mike started. Ngozi was getting married in a couple of months and had also met her fiancé at the teller line about a year ago. She knew Sandra had been having issues with Mike who has been pestering her for sex.

“No o. You know I’m a child of God. At first, Mike said he understood and appreciated my chastity vow but he has been coming on strong lately” Sandra Responded.

“It’s really hard for me too…he is such a nice guy and makes me happy. There are times I just feel like jumping at him. God will uphold me sha” She added.

“I am not saying you shouldn’t be a Christian o. Am I not a Christian too?

But is it not the same Bible that says the master of the manager commended him for being shrewd?

You have a good thing going…do you want to ruin it?

Won’t you sleep with him when you eventually marry him?

Do you want to lose him to another girl that is willing to sleep with him now?” asked Ngozi.

“After all, it’s not like you are a virgin…and you guys do all the ‘other things’ now, wetin remain?” Ngozi added. 

“I’m just afraid…my conscience will haunt me. What if God doesn’t forgive me? My Pastor preached against Pre-marital sex, he still did on Sunday and Mike was there” answered Sandra

“How did that your conscience help when your former boyfriend left you and married another person?

How many of those Pastors married without touching their wives?

God is merciful and He understands…if he forgave them, He will forgive you too.

I am just being real with you, let’s put the Bible on one side and be real.

How many guys will even wait 5 months?

You have a guy that treats you right, he has a good job, a bright future and has almost completed his house…he even told you that he plans to move into it as soon as he gets married. You want to get another wedding invitation with Mike as the groom and another girl as the bride?” Ngozi asked again

Sandra kept quiet for a while, she looked bothered…she was pondering on everything Ngozi said.

Ngozi then told Sandra how she also didn’t want to ‘play ball’ with her fiancé but when the guy insisted that “he would not buy what he hadn’t tasted” and she saw that the guy was serious about marrying her, she had to do the needful.

“All those younger girls are willing and they have time on their side…if we get a serious guy, wouldn’t it be very stupid of us to let him go because he wants a taste of the pudding? God will forgive us, He knows we have to do what we have to do” Ngozi said as she left for the vault to replenish her till.

Sandra thought about it all day and the fear of starting all over again gripped her heart…it had been almost 5 months since she started seeing Mike and it had been wonderful. Mike was a gentleman and he was always there for her. He was even going to drive her down to Akure that weekend to see her mum…who had been indisposed for about a week now.

Friday Afternoon, Sandra closed early…her manager had allowed her, because she was travelling to see her mum. Mike took her and they got to Akure around 7:30 pm.
Sandra noticed there was an X-Ray result and some documents on the back seat of the car, she asked who they were for and Mike told her  not to worry about it. That he was supposed to drop it off for someone earlier but couldn’t because of traffic.

Mike had bought some provisions…lots of them and Sandra’s mum was very happy to see them. She could not contain her joy.

“Maami, I thought you had typhoid fever? You look nothing like what they told me over the phone” Sandra asked

“Yes I did but with what I am seeing, my sickness has disappeared” her mum responded

Sandra's mum kept asking Mike all kinds of questions…anytime Sandra tried to interrupt, she would say it didn’t concern her.
After they had eaten, Sandra’s mum turned to Mike and asked
“So when are you making it official? I have heard so much about you and my daughter said you have been really good to her…so what is causing the delay?”
Sandra could tell that Mike was a little bit uncomfortable but her mum wouldn’t let her get involved.

“Don’t worry Ma, as soon as we get back to Lagos, I will start working on that…I wanted to see her family first and know the kind of home she came from. She has told me a lot too but I wanted to see for myself" was Mike’s response.

Sandra’s mum was elated…looked like her prayers had been answered. Mike excused himself to take a call and Sandra got talking with her mum.

“This is what I have been asking for…see his posture, can you see this one and say you haven’t seen a man?” Sandra’s mum asked

“I don’t know…he is a little too secretive for me. I always feel like I don’t really know him” Sandra responded

“I bind that spirit in you…the spirit that does not want you to marry, I cast it into the bottomless pit, in chains of iron until the judgment day in Jesus’ name” her mum responded with anger.

“What else do you want? Someone followed you all the way to Akure to see your mother.

Didn’t you see all the things he bought for me?

I can now see that you are the one with a problem and I know how to handle it.

All the household wickedness from your father side that do not want you to settle down, Holy Ghost fire will consume them” Sandra’s mum said.

“Which one is Holy Ghost Fire consumption again?” Sandra asked as she couldn't contain the laughter

“I attend a new Church now o and my hands have been trained to battle any household wickedness” her mum responded.

“Ok oh…if you say I should go on, no problem” Sandra said.

Mike pestered Sandra for sex again that night. They had slept in the guest room together and Sandra must have set the mood because she wanted to show how grateful she was for everything Mike did. They had gone from simple kissing to about an inch from crossing that line. Then Sandra pulled back and reminded Mike of her stand

“What else do you want me to do? I have officially met the parent and family…what else do I need to do to physically show you how committed I am?” Mike said.

“I know your stand and all that, but I have tried…even heavens know that I have waited but I’m definitely not going to wait till the wedding night…I know a thing or two about this religion too and this is not my own kind of Christianity.

My Christianity is the type that ‘tests’ all things so I can hold on to what is true. Besides, we have come too far to turn away now? You have taken me to a point where I cannot take no for an answer” He added as they continued kissing and finally she let go.

Maybe it was what Ngozi told her during the week or what her mother said or the fact that Mike hinted that he was about to make it official…Sandra let go against her Christian beliefs.

They left Akure and Sandra could sense that something was off with Mike…she asked what the issue was and He said he was fine. He pecked her on the left cheek and smiled. They got to Lagos and Mike slept at Sandra’s place.

“I guess I can meet your mysterious uncle now” Sandra asked as they were leaving for work the following morning

“Sure, about time” answered Mike as he drove her to work. Sandra had only been to Mike’s house twice.
The first time was the day Mike showed her the place but she didn’t go in. The second time was the day Mike said he left something important at home and had to go get it. She entered for a few minutes that day because she had to use the bathroom. Mike said his uncle was not home on that day…and that was the reason she allowed her to come in. He didn’t even let her look around; he quickly rushed her out of the house.
“What is so bad in bringing your girlfriend to the house?” Sandra had asked but Mike said it was about how he felt and that she shouldn’t worry…he would soon be moving to his own place and she could choose to do anything she wanted there.

“I almost forgot, I need to take someone to the US Embassy on Thursday…I had committed myself and can’t get out of it” Mike informed Sandra as she was about to get out of the car.

“You and your kind heart” Sandra said as she smiled and walked to her office.

After the journey to Akure, it became all about sex…at Sandra’s house, at Mike’s friend’s house he even got a hotel room on one occasion when his friend was not at home. Sandra asked why the relationship was becoming more about physical intimacy. Mike laughed and said it was because he was crazy about her and couldn’t wait to have her to himself forever.

“As soon as the house is ready, we are going for it…I’m done sneaking around. You are moving in and we are making this official” he said.

Sandra was really happy and when he told Ngozi about it she said “What did I tell you? See what you almost missed because you wouldn’t ‘play ball’. Once you are married now, it wouldn’t matter whether you did it before you got married or not”.

“Na u sabi, God should just have mercy on me” Sandra responded.

Sandra started avoiding church because of the fear of what her conscience would do to her if the Pastor mentioned anything about fornication.

About a month after the Akure trip, Mike had scheduled for Sandra to meet his uncle, she was very excited…then he cancelled. He said his uncle had to travel and that they would go see him when he got back. A night before the day they originally planned to go see Mike’s uncle, Mike was at Sandra’s place and couldn’t sleep all night…he was restless. In the morning he gave Sandra an envelope and told her not to open it until her birthday which was still a couple of weeks from then. “Why not wait till my birthday to give this to me?" Sandra asked

“Don’t ask questions…I just have to do this. Promise me you won’t open it until your birthday” replied Mike

“Ok then, I promise…but you know I’m not good with suspense” said Sandra

They visited Mike’s friend at Magodo that day and Mike must have been in the room discussing with his friend for over 3 hours…Sandra had to watch a 2-part Nollywood home video and kept wondering what they were talking about.

A few days after that, Mike called Sandra and said he wouldn’t be able to come pick her at work because he was taking his uncle to the airport and would stay with him till it was time to go through security check. It was a last-minute arrangement and he wanted Sandra to be in his uncle’s good books so he did not want to say No because of her.

“No wahala, I will take a cab. Just call me when you get back to the house and if you can still make it, you can come over…I have news for you” Sandra said

“What news?” Asked Mike

“I am not spilling, remember the suspense you put me in as well…so you have to wait till we see” She responded.

“No problem…I’ll see you when I see you. You know I would never willingly hurt you right?” said Mike as he hung up.

Sandra woke up at about 2:30 am; she had dozed off on the couch. She checked her phone to see if Mike had called but she didn’t miss any call. She tried to call him but his phone was switched off.

She was a little worried but thought maybe Mike couldn’t make it after his uncle left and he forgot to charge his phone.  She tried again at 6am but still couldn’t get through. It was a Saturday morning…she was getting scared, with all the ‘what if scenarios’ playing in her head.

By 9:30 am she was really worried…she got up and took a cab to Mike’s uncle’s house. When she got there, the gate was locked from outside. She kept calling Mike’s phone and it was still switched off. She tried calling Mike’s friend in Magodo but wasn’t sure of the guy’s number. She decided to go there to see if he knew Mike’s whereabouts.  She knocked on the door and Mike’s friend was surprised to see her.

“Have you heard from Mike? I have been calling his number over and over to no avail” Sandra said

“He’s not going to get there till like 9pm our time” the guy responded

“He’s not going to get where? What are you talking about?” asked Sandra…her confusion could not be hidden.

“Oh my! I thought you knew…he said he told you. He said you were cool with it” the guy said. He was as confused as Sandra.

“You thought I knew what?
Cool with what?” Sandra asked again, tears welling up in her eyes

Mike’s friend sat her down and explained how he thought Mike had informed her that he was actually married and his wife was in the United States filing for him. How the filing had gone through and he was doing all the travelling preparations.

“I have seen him take his wife’s call many times with you there with him…I thought you knew. He said you knew…this is just wrong. I had asked him what you guys were doing and he said you were his steady girlfriend while waiting for his travelling arrangements to be perfected. He said you were on board and were just having fun as well and you knew it was not a serious thing” The guy continued

As the guy rambled on, Sandra’s mind started connecting the dots and she realized that all the signs were there but she had completely ignored them. She didn’t know whether to scream or shout or cry. She was quiet for minutes with the tears flowing freely.

Mike’s friend felt for her but what could he do.

“What about his uncle?” Sandra asked

“What Uncle?” The guy replied

“The one he lives with…” Sandra said

Mike’s friend explained how Mike had said that he would not take any girlfriend to his house out of respect for his wife and because he didn’t want them to feel too comfortable.

 “Mike does not have any close family in Lagos, which I know of…his elder brother lives in Canada. He is the owner of the house in Mowe. The one that Mike was overseeing” The guy said again.

Sandra couldn’t handle it anymore…she had been living a lie and was building castles in the air. She told the guy she had to leave. The guy didn’t know how to comfort or console her; he was also dumbfounded at the turn of events. As Sandra sat at the back of the cab, trying hard to fight back her tears …she remembered the letter Mike had given to her about a week before that. She rushed into her apartment and went straight for the letter

“Dear Sandra,

I’m so sorry you had to find out this way. I never meant to hurt you. I was just out for fun and needed someone to spend time with. I never knew I would meet someone as wonderful as you…I was not prepared for that part.

Trust me, if I wasn’t married, you would be my number one choice. You are such a darling. I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t bear to tell you the truth. I was afraid because of how devastated you would be.

I wasn’t expecting a girl of your age to believe so much in chastity and I kept pestering you with the hope that you would ask me to go and that way I would avoid breaking up with you or breaking your heart.

I was nice to you because that’s exactly what you deserve…I wanted to use the sex issue as a way out of the relationship, I really didn’t know you would cave.

I’m so sorry and I wish I could turn back the hands of time; I would have left you alone. I pray that God will find you a good man that will truly appreciate you.

I left a check of N500,000 enclosed, I am not paying you off but I just felt like doing something to make up for the hurt I have caused you.

I’m really sorry…I would never willingly hurt you.

Take care of yourself,

Mike

Sandra sat there as if the world had ended…the surprise she had for Mike was that she was 4 weeks pregnant…she sat there and cried for hours. Her mum was calling but she couldn't pick the phone.

There were RED flags all over...we will talk about them later

But first, lemme know what you think

What are the things Sandra could have done to avoid this?