Thursday, May 17, 2018

White Lies

The dictionary definition for the term “White Lie”a harmless or trivial lie, especially one told to avoid hurting someone's feelings.

Another word for this is fib

Someone once told me that it is hard not tell lies in marriage if you don’t want to hurt your spouse.

It sounds logical and makes sense but it is not scriptural because the Bible says ALL unrighteousness is sin

Sadly, I have found myself telling white lies too

 BUT the truth is White Lies Are Still Lies No Matter the Intent

Those  untrue” things that just jump out of our mouths

I’m almost there

I already left

I’ll be ready in 5 minutes

No, you don’t look fat

It’s not that bad

It’s not new, I’ve had it for a while. Just didn’t wear it

I only bought it for $50

I didn’t know my phone was ringing

I’m also just finding out

White lies infiltrate practically every marriage. Research shows that most married people tell (on average) one to two lies a day.

Many of these fibs aren't intentionally malicious. There are times we tell lies to flatter: Other times we tell lies to avoid conflict: A lot of times, we tell ourselves that these lies will protect our spouse. We want them to feel good about themselves or we tell them what we think they want to hear .

But if we're honest with ourselves, the main beneficiaries of those lies are us. Lying is almost always about protecting self: I don't want to be found out. I don't want to fail. I don't want to disappoint my husband. I don't want to fight.

We've become accustomed to lying. Our culture accepts white lies and even condones them. People sometimes tell themselves that these everyday fibs are inescapable and even valuable. But lies, even white ones, are never harmless.

Lying desensitizes us -Have you even had to cover up a lie with another lie?

Lying creates cracks in the foundation of trust - Trust is fragile: It doesn't take much to begin to erode it. You may feel better in the short term, but lies will weaken trust and security in the long run. If he's

I know that sometimes total, careless transparency can be awkward, as well. We shouldn't necessarily say everything that pops into our heads. This can be just as harmful as lying.

But while we shouldn't be needlessly cruel, we should strive to be authentic/ real/genuine. We must learn to fight through the awkwardness of potentially hurting, disappointing or frustrating our spouse and learn how to tactfully deliver the truth.

If there was a way I could say it without hurting my spouse, would I lie?

Let your yes be yes…let your word be your bond.  Work on effective communication and you won’t have to lie to get out of trouble with your spouse.

 
Picture Credit (c) Muser's cap
 © 2018 Lanre Olagbaju All Rights Reserved