Thursday, June 15, 2017

My King-Lover

Caveat: Strictly for CHRISTIAN wives (it may not sit down well with feminists and female emancipation advocates)

Song of Solomon Chapter 3 verse 11 says
“Come and look, sisters in Jerusalem. Oh, sisters of Zion, don’t miss this!
My King-Lover, dressed and garlanded for his wedding, his heart full, bursting with joy!”

One major thing that makes a king a king is respect and one of the major needs of a husband is respect…some may not believe it but it comes before sex (especially after the ‘sex is everything’ veil falls off).

Any man treated like royalty at home ends up becoming royal.

If respect could be ranked,  I’m sure the highest respect in any man’s diary is his wife’s respect.

Even the devil knows this; which made him stage Job’s wife against him (Job 2:9). The last thing Job lost in his family was his wife's respect…which means it was heavier than even the loss of his wealth. This helps to put into perspective the importance of a wife’s respect to the husband. A man may lose everything but if he still has the respect of his wife, it’s enough to spur him on.

If we look at it scripturally, it doesn’t demean women and doesn’t make them of less quality. It is a flow…there’s an input and there’s an output. Respect flows out, love flows in, more respect flows out, more love flows in .

The Bible talks about Sarah in 1 Peter 3: 4-6…I will go with the Amplified version to capture the essence of the scripture

Your adornment must not be merely external—with interweaving and elaborate knotting of the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or [being superficially preoccupied with] dressing in expensive clothes; but let it be [the inner beauty of] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a GENTLE and PEACEFUL spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature] which is VERY PRECIOUS in the sight of God*. For in this way in former times the holy women, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, *being submissive to their own husbands and adapting themselves to them*; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham [ *following him and having regard for him as head of their house* ], calling him lord. And you have become her daughters if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear [that is, being respectful toward your husband but not giving in to intimidation, nor allowing yourself to be led into sin, nor to be harmed].

Note: In ancient times, Lord was a common title of honor and respect.

Ephesians 5:33 says "Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband".

I know that respect is a 2-way lane but men need it, they don’t just want it. The same applies to Love, men also want to be loved but women need to be loved

Respect or the lack of it affects every other area of a man’s life...

I will state again that respecting your husband does not make you a slave, it does not belittle you, it does not make you lower in quality. It only means you value and appreciate the crown that God gave you and you are treating the crown as such.

If you don’t see him as royalty, you cannot treat him like royalty

It takes royalty to know how to treat royalty…it takes a king to know how to treat a queen

A man treated like a nobody at home cannot see the queen in his wife.

I beseech you today, if you haven’t been doing it…treat your husband like a king.

Make him your King-Lover.

Respect and treat him like a V.I.P

The V stands for Verbally…respect him verbally

If you can’t cut out the complaints…at least cut back and add in compliments instead.

Compliments are like magnets and the more you compliment your husband, the more he will be attracted to you. Begin to notice when he does things right and verbally encourage him by complimenting him at least once a day

This is not the same thing as manipulation o, I see it as seasoning your words with salt. Colossians 4:6 says “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone”
 

The I stands for Intellectually…respect him Intellectually

Men like to solve problems and fix things.

A good way to get a man to do something is to appeal to his intelligence; simply ask him to help solve a problem.

NEVER imply that he isn't smart. “kílódé te máa n’se báyi now? (Why do you always handle things like this?)” is a subtle way of saying “why are you so dumb?”

Don’t scold him like a child…I understand the maternal instincts but he is not your child

When he makes a mistake and it backfires, that is not the time to bring out the “I told you so” CD.

Men, many men, are not sentimental…show us facts and we'll be more likely to listen.

Even when you cannot reach an agreement, instead of trying to wear him down by nagging or emotional blackmail, if it's his final decision, then honor it. It's ok…the world will not end. Let him use his “executive order” in that case.

Most of us men learn to trust our wives’ instincts after we’ve been burned…in some cases, more than once. Allowing us to learn/realize this, works better than trying to make us do things. When you see men that agree that wifeys have better judgments, those are men that  have been allowed to learn….you can’t nag a man into that mindset.

Lastly, the P stands for Physically…respect him Physically

Don’t make him the last on your list of important things to do.
Meet his physical needs (this includes sex).

Be aware of your body language. You can communicate disrespect by rolling your eyes, sly comments, snarky remarks, sarcasm, slamming doors, hissing .

If you have a husband that is always saying “You don’t respect me”…find out what his respect needs are and try to meet them.

Respect is both a verb and a noun—an action and an attitude.

Note: Respecting your husband is not saying you should passively defer to the dominance of your husband

The best way to start this is with a mind to do the will of God not to keep checking if he deserves/merits it or not.

Remember, even if/when a king has lost his senses, that doesn’t strip him of his royalty or respect

I beseech you as a wife to start seeing  your husband as your “King-lover’ from today…don’t stop there, treat him like your “king-lover”.

Learn to kiss the frog to birth prince charming.

Respect him…and watch the transformation. Help unleash the king so he can enthrone the queen.
 

 

 

Picture Credit (c) tooopen.com
© 2017 Lanre Olagbaju All Rights Reserved

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