Song of Solomon Chapter 3 verse 11
says
“Come and look,
sisters in Jerusalem. Oh, sisters of Zion, don’t miss this!My King-Lover, dressed and garlanded for his wedding, his heart full, bursting with joy!”
One major thing that makes a king a king is respect and one of the major needs of a husband is respect…some may not believe it but it comes before sex (especially after the ‘sex is everything’ veil falls off).
Any man treated like
royalty at home ends up becoming royal.
If respect could be
ranked, I’m sure the highest respect in any man’s diary is his wife’s
respect.
Even the devil
knows this; which made him stage Job’s wife against him (Job 2:9). The last thing Job lost in his
family was his wife's respect…which means it was heavier than even the loss of
his wealth. This helps
to put into perspective the importance of a wife’s respect to the
husband. A man may lose everything but if he still has the respect of his wife,
it’s enough to spur him on.
If we look at it
scripturally, it doesn’t demean women and doesn’t make them of less quality. It
is a flow…there’s an input and there’s an output. Respect flows out, love flows
in, more respect flows out, more love flows in .
The Bible talks
about Sarah in 1 Peter 3: 4-6…I will go with the Amplified version to capture
the essence of the scripture
Your adornment must
not be merely external—with interweaving and elaborate knotting of the hair,
and wearing gold jewelry, or [being superficially preoccupied with] dressing in
expensive clothes; but let it be [the inner beauty of] the hidden person of
the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a GENTLE and
PEACEFUL spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but
serene and spiritually mature] which is VERY PRECIOUS in the sight of God*.
For in this way in former times the holy women, who hoped in God, used to adorn
themselves, *being submissive to their own husbands and adapting themselves
to them*; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham [ *following him and having
regard for him as head of their house* ], calling him lord. And you have
become her daughters if you do what is right without being frightened by any
fear [that is, being respectful toward your husband but not giving in to
intimidation, nor allowing yourself to be led into sin, nor to be harmed].
Note: In ancient
times, Lord was a common title of honor and respect.
Ephesians 5:33 says
"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as
himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband".
I know that respect
is a 2-way lane but men need it, they don’t just want it. The same
applies to Love, men also want to be loved but women need to be loved
Respect or the lack
of it affects every other area of a man’s life...
I will state again
that respecting your husband does not make you a slave, it does not belittle
you, it does not make you lower in quality. It only means you value and
appreciate the crown that God gave you and you are treating the crown
as such.
If you don’t see
him as royalty, you cannot treat him like royalty
It takes royalty to
know how to treat royalty…it takes a king to know how to treat a queen
A man treated like
a nobody at home cannot see the queen in his wife.
I beseech you
today, if you haven’t been doing it…treat your husband like a king.
Make him your
King-Lover.
Respect and treat
him like a V.I.P
The V stands for Verbally…respect
him verbally
If you can’t cut
out the complaints…at least cut back and add in compliments instead.
Compliments are
like magnets and the more you compliment your husband, the more he will be
attracted to you. Begin to notice when he does things right and verbally
encourage him by complimenting him at least once a day
This is not the
same thing as manipulation o, I see it as seasoning your words with salt.
Colossians 4:6 says “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned
with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone”
The I stands for Intellectually…respect
him Intellectually
Men like to solve
problems and fix things.
A good way to get a
man to do something is to appeal to his intelligence; simply ask him to help
solve a problem.
NEVER imply that he
isn't smart. “kílódé te máa n’se báyi now? (Why do you always handle things
like this?)” is a subtle way of saying “why are you so dumb?”
Don’t scold him
like a child…I understand the maternal instincts but he is not your child
When he makes a
mistake and it backfires, that is not the time to bring out the “I told you so”
CD.
Men, many men, are
not sentimental…show us facts and we'll be more likely to listen.
Even when you
cannot reach an agreement, instead of trying to wear him down by nagging or
emotional blackmail, if
it's his final decision, then honor it. It's ok…the world will not end. Let him
use his “executive order” in that case.
Most of us men
learn to trust our wives’ instincts after we’ve been burned…in some cases, more
than once. Allowing us to learn/realize this, works better than trying to make
us do things. When you see men that agree that wifeys have better judgments,
those are men that have been allowed to learn….you can’t nag a man into
that mindset.
Lastly, the P
stands for Physically…respect him Physically
Don’t make him the
last on your list of important things to do.
Meet his physical
needs (this includes sex).
Be aware of your
body language. You can communicate disrespect by rolling your eyes, sly
comments, snarky remarks, sarcasm, slamming doors, hissing .
If you have a
husband that is always saying “You don’t respect me”…find out what his respect
needs are and try to meet them.
Respect is both a
verb and a noun—an action and an attitude.
Note: Respecting
your husband is not saying you should passively defer to the dominance of your
husband
The best way to
start this is with a mind to do the will of God not to keep checking if he
deserves/merits it or not.
Remember, even if/when a king has lost his
senses, that doesn’t strip him of his royalty or respect
I beseech you as a
wife to start seeing your husband as your “King-lover’ from today…don’t
stop there, treat him like your “king-lover”.
Learn to kiss the frog to birth prince charming.
Learn to kiss the frog to birth prince charming.
Respect him…and
watch the transformation. Help unleash the king so he can enthrone the queen.
© 2017 Lanre Olagbaju All Rights Reserved
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