To my surprise, he didn’t castigate me as much as I had expected, he encouraged me and prayed with me. He said repentance was all that’s required by God, from any sinner. And since I was genuinely sober, God would have mercy on me and help fix my family. He promised to do his best and track down Irene and set up a reconciliatory meeting.
I left church that day with some hope…home had become more of a mere shelter. There were many nights that I cried because of the mess I got myself in.
I’m sure I would have lost my job if not for my goodwill and proven track record. I was missing deadlines, messing up presentations; all my erstwhile cool friends abandoned me and left me to my fate…even the one that spurred me on when the whole thing started. I had to also open up to my immediate boss who said he never knew I was a Christian. He understood and covered for me a lot. He told me the story of how he almost ruined his marriage because of infidelity and said he would keep me in his prayers.
Our pastor finally got a hold of Irene after about a week and a half…he scheduled a meeting at his office. It was on Saturday and I was very happy when Irene walked in (I had thought she wouldn’t come). The pregnancy had become more obvious…my son ran to me and I held him (I hadn’t seen him in almost a month), I couldn’t hide my tears…I begged Irene profusely and told her I had learned my lessons and I would never cheat on her again. She sat there with tears as well but didn’t say a word. It was so emotional that even the Pastor and his wife almost cried with us. I kept begging both of them to help appeal to my wife to give me another chance. I am sure I went on my knees at a point.
Finally, the Pastor pulled me up and said a word of prayer. He shared from the Bible and talked about forgiveness, with all the things happening, Irene refused to talk. The Pastor’s wife took her out to go have a woman-to-woman conversation with her. While they were out, Pastor said he could sense that I really hurt her and she’s seriously struggling with the thought of forgiving me. He said I should believe God to touch her heart and remove the pain I inflicted. He told me how infidelity is a valid reason for divorce, even in a Christian marriage. About an hour later, Irene returned with the pastor’s wife…her eyes were red and swollen. She must have cried the whole time.
Irene did not say much, she said she needed time to process the whole thing but she would not move back into the house until she had settled things in her heart. My pastor and his wife told me to let her be and not force her to do anything. I begged her to at least let me know where she was staying so I could be sure she’s safe. She said the Pastor knew how to contact her as she got up to take her leave.
“Let me fix what I messed up, please…I know better now.
If I could turn back the hands of time…I would make better choices.
We can survive this…I believe in us, we can overcome this together
Please Irene” I said as she walked away with our son, who was crying that he wanted to stay with me.
I wanted to see her off but my pastor’s wife said she would.
I stayed, another hour or so, after Irene left; listening to my Pastor and his wife…my pastor’s wife told me I would need to really work hard to prove to my wife that I had indeed learned my lessons and that she could trust me again. She said there were thing my wife told her, that she could not tell me but I needed to be prayerful and ready to fight for her and my marriage.
They prayed with me again and said they would do their best to open a channel of communication with my wife so we can start talking again.
“Communication is key and it needs to be back up as soon as possible; that is the only way this can be resolved.
Please Bro Mike, when she starts taking your calls, note that she needs to empty her heart. She needs to verbalize her hurts and pains and you need to hear her out and not make excuses. The more she lets out, the more relieved she becomes and then the healing process will start.
Forgiveness, at times, is a process…you have to be ready to wait it out if truly you are sorry for what you have done” my pastor said as he saw me to my car.
I thanked him for everything…at least he was able to get me to meet with my family and see my son.
After about five days, my pastor called me around noon and gave me Irene’s new number. He said she would only take my calls at nights, as she did not want to discuss anything in front of our son and would rather I called when he (our son) was already in bed. It was as if I got the direct number to the president…I was so happy and I almost couldn’t wait till it was night.
8pm on the dot, I dialed the number but nobody picked up. I tried again after 15 minutes and still got nothing, I was becoming agitated when a text message came through.
“Can’t talk tonight. I don’t feel too good”
I replied by asking what was wrong with her but she did not respond. I did not want to be pushy so I waited till the following day.
She picked my call but it was really awkward…she didn’t say much; I continued to appeal and beg. The more I talked the more withdrawn and monosyllabic Irene seemed to become. I had to hang up after about 10 minutes. I reached out to the pastor the following day but he encouraged me to keep praying and not to give up on the process.
“The more the hurt, the more difficult it is to breakthrough to the aggrieved” He said.
He promised to call her again and talk to her or better still, get his wife to make the call.
I waited to hear from my pastor before calling back so I didn’t call for a couple of days.
I called immediately, after he told me he had spoken to her and she would be more approachable. She was nicer this time, she responded better and I was elated. She even let me talk to my son.
I asked how the pregnancy was going, and we talked about some other things. When I wanted to go to the issue on ground, she begged me not to go there that we should just talk about other things.
I didn’t know what to make of it but I went with the flow. I called my pastor back and thanked him for his support and help. He said he was kinda surprised at the turn of events and told me to keep praying because of something Irene told his wife the day we met at his office.
I kept in contact with Irene and we started to talk…we went from minutes to even hours. However, anytime I wanted to talk about us and the marriage, she would digress and avoid it. She said she was trying to build friendship with me again…FOR THE KIDS.
After about two weeks of ONLY telephone communication, we hung out…we met at an eatery and it was awesome. My son was really happy as we spent the whole Saturday together. It was all I wanted and I couldn’t be happier…Irene gave me a hug at the end of the day as she got into her car. She still wouldn’t tell me where she way staying…when I asked, she said I shouldn’t rush things.
I gladly took that deal…it was way better than what we had before.
“We should do this again, I really love and miss you guys” I said as she drove away.
Life was beginning to make sense again, things were looking up…even my boss noticed it in me when I got to work the following Monday. He was really happy for me when I told him how my weekend went. Irene even called me at work during that week. She was coming from the doctor…her antenatal visit. That was the day she told me the baby was a girl according to the Ultrasound Scan she just had.
That weekend she came over to the house, it was a surprise (like she said). She did not let me know until she was at the gate. I was really happy to see them…my son got to run around the house and play with his toys again.There was so much joy in my heart…I cooked for them, it was just fun to have my family with me. Irene kept saying “I’m so glad we can be friends again” but I didn’t know what she meant by that.
During this time, my pastor would check in to see how things were going…he would advise me not to stop praying and that I should commit my wife’s heart into God’s hands.
This ‘friendship’ continued…they were coming over every weekend. Irene still didn’t want to talk about us…but with the way things were going, I thought maybe she just wanted it in the past and never wanted to go back to it.
About five weeks later, I got a call from Irene around 10pm. It was a Thursday and I was in the house getting ready to sleep. She was at the International Airport and was about to board a flight to the United Kingdom. She said she was relocating and she had talked to a friend of hers over there that would help her settle in.
She said she would not cut me off and I would still be part of our children’s lives. She said she had weighed her options and there was no way she could go back to being my wife. She said she would be going against everything she believes and would be trapped in an unhappy marriage. She said she already forgave me and I could come visit them anytime but she wouldn’t forgive herself if she stayed married to me.
She also said it would be not be fair to me if she stayed and the marriage would just be a charade.
I stood there speechless…
“Are you there Mike? We’ll soon start boarding” that was what Irene said that jolted me back to life.
“So what have we been doing all along?” was all I could say
She said she was trying to get used to the idea of us being JUST friends because we would need that for the children
She said she would keep me informed of the baby’s birth and I was welcome if I wanted to come over and see her.
She said it was hard for her and it was a tough decision but staying in the marriage would be worse.
I wanted to beg but couldn’t
I wanted to object but couldn’t
“I hope you find love again and I wish you the very best…know that we love you Mike” was the last thing she said as she went on to board the plane with my son.
I have not spoken with Irene since she got to the UK…my pastor finally opened up that the reason he kept telling me to be prayerful was because Irene had confided in his wife that she could never be my wife again.
She started to be friendly because of all they told her about forgiveness. He said the last time he spoke with her, she said she was finally able to forgive but she was over the marriage and nobody could make her stay.
That’s my story…I’m distraught and don’t know where to go from here. I have taken time off work to see how I can get past this.
I wish someone could help me fix this
I still love my wife…a lot and I miss her
The new baby is due in two months…scary how one careless decision can alter a lot of things
PART 15
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental
© 2016 Lanre Olagbaju All Rights Reserved
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