The Two Shall Become One

“For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5:31, NKJV)

The phrase "two shall become one" is a divine mystery that reflects God’s design for marriage. It is not merely symbolic or limited to one aspect of marital union; rather, it is a multifaceted truth encompassing spiritual, emotional, physical, and relational oneness.

1. A Covenant, Not Just a Contract

Marriage is more than a legal agreement or shared living arrangement. It is a covenant before God, binding two individuals into a single purpose. Malachi 2:14 calls marriage a covenant, underscoring its spiritual significance. This covenant establishes oneness, but living it out requires intentional effort.

• Is it sexual intimacy?

Yes, but it’s more. Sexual intimacy is a powerful expression of oneness, designed by God to unify a couple physically and emotionally (1 Corinthians 6:16-17). Yet, oneness is incomplete if it stops at the physical level.

• Is it moving in together?

Sharing space fosters closeness, but physical proximity without emotional or spiritual alignment can lead to cohabitation without connection.

• Is it simply getting married?

Marriage initiates the journey of becoming one, but it’s possible to be legally married yet fail to live as one. Misaligned priorities, unaddressed wounds, or selfishness can keep couples from experiencing true unity.

2. The Power of Oneness

Synergy is the divine outcome of oneness in marriage. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 illustrates this: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor...a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” When a couple is united, their combined effort, strength, and purpose yield exponential fruit.

Oneness is not just a blessing; it’s a necessity for fulfilling God’s purpose in marriage. Jesus prayed in John 17:21 that His followers would be one, as He and the Father are one—this same unity is God’s desire for married couples.

3. The Fight for Oneness

True oneness doesn’t happen by default; it’s a result of intentional effort and reliance on God’s grace. Ephesians 4:3 urges us to “make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Couples must work to guard their oneness from the attacks of selfishness, pride, distractions, and external pressures.

• Daily sacrifices and forgiveness reflect Christlike love.

• Shared vision and goals align couples for purpose.

• Open communication and prayer build emotional and spiritual intimacy.

4. A Reflection of Christ and the Church

Marriage is a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:32). Just as Christ gave Himself for the Church to sanctify her, couples are called to sacrifice for one another, seeking each other’s highest good. This sacrificial love leads to a deeper, more profound unity.

How do I nurture intimacy?

• PURSUE intimacy on all levels. Be intentional about connecting spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

• IDENTIFY and ADDRESS barriers. Anything that creates division—unresolved conflicts, selfishness, or lack of communication—must be addressed with grace.

• PRIORITIZE God’s presence. Oneness is impossible without God. Make prayer, worship, and studying the Word together a priority.

As couples, we should do everything to become ONE because the health of our marriage is tied to our oneness. It’s not about losing individuality but aligning with each other in submission to God’s will. The journey toward oneness is lifelong and rewarding, producing joy, strength, and divine purpose.

May we all strive to live out this profound mystery in our marriages, reflecting God’s glory to the world. “What God has joined together, let no man separate” (Mark 10:9).

#BeBetter #LoveBetter #DoBetter #MarriageWorks