Are We Loving Wrong?

1 Corinthians 13:5b says  – "Love is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs."

When we read these words, it’s natural to wonder: Am I loving the way God intended? How can I not keep record of wrongs?

In marriage, love often finds itself at the crossroads of past offenses and future hopes. We say we love, yet find ourselves keeping a mental list of wrongs, ready to bring them up when emotions run high. This begs the question: Is what we call love really love?

God’s Definition of Love
The love described in 1 Corinthians 13 is God’s standard, and yes, it applies to all forms of love, including the love between a husband and wife. God’s love is patient, kind, and forgiving. It doesn’t carry the weight of yesterday into today. It seeks to heal, not to hurt.

But let’s keep it real—this isn’t easy. The human heart naturally gravitates toward self-preservation, which often includes keeping a record of wrongs as a defense mechanism. Yet, the call of love is countercultural. It asks us to let go, to forgive, and to choose grace over grudges.

What About Past Issues?
Does this mean we should never bring up the past? Nah! The Bible doesn’t call us to ignore issues but to address them with love. When past hurts resurface, ask yourself: Am I bringing this up to build or to break?

When you bring up the past in marriage, let it be for healing, not for ammunition. Don't WEAPONIZE the past. Let it be a gentle reminder of where you’ve been and how far God’s grace can take you, not a chain to hold your spouse back.

A Love Beyond Scorekeeping
Keeping no record of wrongs doesn’t mean pretending nothing happened. It means CHOOSING not to let those wrongs define your relationship. It’s about BREAKING the cycle of anger and resentment, allowing forgiveness to lead the way.

Consider Jesus’ words: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). Even in His deepest pain, He forgave without keeping score. Can we, as husbands and wives, reflect that same love?

When you’re tempted to bring up old wounds, pause and ask: Will this build or break my marriage?

Heavenly Father, teach us to love as You love—without keeping score, without anger, and with endless grace. Help us to see our spouse through Your eyes and to choose forgiveness over bitterness. Let Your love REDEFINE how we love...in Jesus' name. Amen.

True love is God’s love. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
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