It’s easy to take kindness for granted, especially in marriage, where love and service should be mutual. But when appreciation wanes, the relationship risks becoming transactional rather than a reflection of Christlike love. The notion of “If they didn’t do it, someone else would have” devalues the act of service and the giver, dismissing the effort, thoughtfulness, and sacrifice behind it.
Should couples outgrow gratitude for the good they do for each other? Absolutely not. Gratitude is not a stage to pass but a habit to cultivate continually. The Bible consistently calls us to be thankful—both to God and to each other.
Biblical Foundations for Gratitude in Marriage
• Gratitude is God’s Will
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
Gratitude isn’t contingent on the size of the blessing or the effort—it’s about recognizing and valuing the heart behind it. Whether it’s your spouse making you coffee or supporting you through tough times, expressing thanks aligns with God’s will.
• Gratitude Strengthens Love
Proverbs 31:28 captures a beautiful image of gratitude: “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”
Praise and gratitude breathe life into a marriage. When you thank your spouse, you affirm their worth and contributions, fostering deeper connection and joy.
• Christ Modeled Gratitude
Jesus, despite being the Son of God, never overlooked an opportunity to give thanks. Before feeding the 5,000, He gave thanks (John 6:11). Before breaking bread at the Last Supper, He gave thanks (Luke 22:19). If Jesus expressed gratitude, how much more should we in our relationships?
• Gratitude Protects Against Entitlement
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3).
When gratitude is replaced with entitlement, we undervalue our spouse's sacrifices and forget to honor them. Gratitude reminds us to cherish even the “ordinary” acts of love.
Practical Steps to Cultivate Gratitude
• Speak it Out Loud: Don’t just feel thankful; express it. A heartfelt “thank you” can uplift your spouse more than you imagine.
• Acknowledge the Little Things: Small acts of kindness are easy to overlook. Notice them and express appreciation.
• Pray Together: Include gratitude for each other in your prayers. This invites God’s blessing on your relationship and keeps your heart humble.
• Write it Down: Consider keeping a gratitude journal for your marriage, jotting down moments where your spouse’s love shone brightly.
A Final Word
Gratitude is both an attitude and an action. It’s a way of saying, “I see you, I value you, and I thank God for you.” It’s not just about the act but about honoring the person behind it. In marriage, gratitude turns ordinary moments into sacred ones, cultivating a love that reflects Christ’s love for His church.
So, should couples outgrow gratitude for each other? Never. Instead, let it grow and overflow, strengthening the bond God has joined together.
#BeBetter #LoveBetter #DoBetter #MarriageWorks
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