Marriage is more than a functional arrangement; it’s a divine covenant designed to mirror God’s love for His people. While functionality—being practical and useful—is necessary, marriage is meant to be a life-giving relationship that goes beyond the basics of survival and utility. But what happens when a marriage feels like it’s “just functional”? And how can a couple move beyond that?
Is Marriage Supposed to Be Just Functional?
Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him.” God designed marriage for companionship, partnership, and purpose—not mere functionality. While there are seasons when a marriage may feel routine or transactional (e.g., raising kids, managing finances, or supporting each other during challenges), God’s design is for marriage to thrive, not just survive.
Are There Times We Have to Ensure It’s Functional?
Yes, practicality matters. In times of crisis, illness, or significant stress, ensuring the marriage functions—providing stability and support—might take precedence. However, if functionality becomes the norm rather than a temporary state, it can drain the joy and intimacy God intended.
How Sustainable Is “Just Functional”?
A marriage stuck in “just functional” mode can quickly lose its spark. Proverbs 17:22 reminds us, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” A marriage without joy or deeper connection risks becoming lifeless, where partners coexist rather than flourish.
Taking Marriage Beyond Functional
1. Pursue Intimacy with God and Each Other
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” A Christ-centered marriage brings depth and unity. Spend time praying together, studying God’s Word, and seeking His vision for your marriage.
2. Nurture Friendship and Fun
Song of Solomon 5:16 describes a spouse as both a lover and a friend. Find ways to laugh, play, and enjoy each other’s company. Shared experiences strengthen emotional bonds.
3. Communicate Beyond Logistics
Ephesians 4:29 urges us to speak words that build up. Move beyond discussing schedules and responsibilities to sharing dreams, fears, and spiritual journeys.
4. Invest in Romance
Proverbs 5:18-19 encourages delight in your spouse. Date nights, thoughtful gestures, and affirming words keep the romance alive.
5. Serve Each Other Selflessly
Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition...rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” Serving each other with love deepens trust and connection.
Father, in the name of Jesus, thank You for the gift of marriage. Help us to move beyond a functional relationship into a flourishing partnership that reflects Your love. Teach us to serve, cherish, and prioritize each other as You have called us to. May our marriage be a testimony of Your grace and goodness. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
#DoBetter #LoveBetter #BeBetter #MarriageWorks
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