MOTIVATION vs. INSPIRATION IN MARRIAGE — SHOULD I HAVE TO MOTIVATE MY SPOUSE TO DO RIGHT?

Motivation is external. Inspiration is internal.

Motivation pushes you. Inspiration pulls you.

Motivation says, “You have to.” Inspiration says, “I want to.”

Some spouses are inspired to love right, serve right, forgive right, do right...simply because they see it as their reasonable service unto God. They get it. They get that marriage is ministry. They get that loving their spouse well is a reflection of loving God well. So, they don’t need reminders or pep talks; they move from a place of inspiration.

But some...as a matter of fact, many don’t fall into that category. I totally get it, life happens. Feelings fade. Offenses pile. Pride creeps. Hearts grow cold. In such seasons, we just don’t feel inspired, so we need motivation...that extra nudge to do the right thing.

Should I Have to Motivate My Spouse to Do Right?

In a perfect world, no. But we don’t live in a perfect world.

We live in a world where even the strongest hearts need a reminder. Even David, a man after God’s own heart, had to find motivation by “encouraging himself in the Lord” (1 Samuel 30:6).

If David needed motivation, your spouse might too.

And yes—you will too.

Marriage isn’t a contest of who’s more righteous or who gets it first. It’s a covenant of covering...covering each other’s weaknesses until inspiration flows again.

So, the real question isn’t, “Should I have to?” but “Am I willing to?”

Am I willing to love my spouse enough to help them become better, even when they’re not acting right? Am I willing to be the reason they rise, not the reason they shrink further?

How Do I Motivate My Spouse to Be Better?

It’s simple, but it’s HARD: By being better yourself.

“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives...” (1 Peter 3:1)

It’s not the nagging. Not the sermon. Not the passive-aggressive silence.

It’s your conduct. Your quiet, consistent, Christ-like living.

Men, that goes for us too. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...” (Ephesians 5:25)

Motivate by modeling. Inspire by example.

Do it unto the Lord—not because they’re deserving, but because you’re devoted.

But What If Both of Us Need Motivation?

Ah! Two unmotivated people in a marriage is how many couples slowly drift into being just roommates with rings.

Here’s the hard truth: If both of you are waiting on the other to lead, no one ever will.

That’s why marriage needs a third cord—God. “A cord of three strands is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

When both of you can’t pull, you need Someone stronger anchoring you back to why you said “I do.”

Sometimes, it’s not about who gets inspired first; it’s about who runs back to God first.

Because God is the wellspring of both inspiration and motivation.

“For it is God who works in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13).

You both need Him. You both need grace. You both need to stop expecting a broken human to fill a God-sized void.

Let me wrao up with this:

Marriage will test your capacity to love when you don’t feel loved.

It will test your ability to give what you’re not getting.

It will test your heart to see if you’re willing to be what you want to see.

Pray. Grow. Be better. Love better. Do better.

Because sometimes, you will be the reason your spouse becomes inspired.

And other times, they’ll be the reason you are.

But together, let your marriage be a place where motivation is seasonal…but inspiration is daily—because it is rooted in God, not in each other.

#BeBetter #LoveBetter #DoBetter #Marriage Works