Good Over Nice — Choosing What Lasts in Marriage

A couple days ago, while chatting with my kids, we stumbled on a truth I wish someone had told me earlier in life...and definitely before marriage. The difference between being nice and being good.

See, we often celebrate “nice” in relationships—polite smiles, sweet words, avoiding offense. But nice is not a fruit of the Spirit. Goodness is. (Galatians 5:22-23)

Nice can be driven by fear of conflict, people-pleasing, or temporary comfort. Goodness, however, is rooted in love, fueled by the Spirit, and anchored in truth. It's concerned not just with now—but with eternity.

I told my kids about Michael Jackson’s doctor. The man was nice—giving him what he wanted, easing his pain. But had he chosen to be good, he might have said no, fought harder, and saved his life. Sometimes, nice kills.

And it happens in marriage too.

There are moments when what your spouse wants from you is comfort—a “yes,” a smile, a nod. But what they need is a truth, a hard conversation, a necessary boundary.

It’s nicer to avoid the tough talks about finances, discipline, addiction, or faith. But goodness looks like risking discomfort to pull your marriage toward righteousness.

Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” In marriage, sometimes the most faithful thing you can do is wound lovingly—to say, “This path we’re on is not good, and because I love you, I can’t stay silent.”

Goodness says no when it’s easier to say yes.
Goodness confronts when it’s easier to stay quiet.
Goodness corrects when “being nice” might make you complicit.

And the beauty? Goodness is never without love. Because godly goodness doesn’t destroy—it builds. It heals. It protects.

The next time you’re caught between being nice and being good in your marriage, choose what lasts.

Nice makes you likable. Good makes you godly.

#BeBetter #LoveBetter #DoBetter #MarriageWorks