Marriage is a sacred covenant...a space meant for two, not three, not four, not external influences that neither spouse agreed to. Whenever you open up your marriage to something your spouse did not consent to, you don’t just bring in the thing itself—you bring in everything tied to it.
I recently saw a video, where on of the panelists addressed a woman who had cheated and wanted her husband to accept her continued relationship with the other man. Her response was profound:
"If the side dude has depression, you have brought depression into your marriage. And into your home."
This truth cuts deep because it applies far beyond infidelity. Whatever you introduce into your marriage...be it secrecy, external emotional connections, harmful friendships, addictions, or even unresolved family interference—you also introduce the consequences, the baggage, and the spiritual weight attached to it.
Marriage is a Covenant, Not a Contract
In a contract, terms can be renegotiated. But in a covenant, God establishes the foundation, and both partners commit to upholding it. Genesis 2:24 states, "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."
One flesh. Not "one flesh plus distractions," not "one flesh plus a side relationship," not "one flesh plus outside interference." The moment something enters your marriage that your spouse did not consent to, you violate the unity God designed.
You Bring the Baggage With It
If you allow inappropriate friendships, you bring emotional distance.
If you allow secrecy, you bring distrust.
If you allow unchecked bad habits, you bring frustration.
If you allow bitterness, you bring division.
Beyond the physical, spiritual baggage couls also enter this way. Just as Achan’s secret sin in Joshua 7 brought defeat upon all of Israel, anything you bring into your marriage in secrecy can bring consequences you never expected.
What You Surrender to, You Submit Your Marriage To
Whatever you willingly bring in becomes part of your marriage’s spiritual atmosphere. If you invite in emotional attachments outside your spouse, you’re welcoming emotional adultery. If you invite in destructive habits, you’re giving them permission to erode trust.
Proverbs 4:23 warns us, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Guarding your heart also means guarding what enters your marriage.
A Call to Protect What God Has Given You
Be intentional about what influences your marriage.
Be transparent with your spouse about what enters your lives.
Be mindful that what may seem harmless in the moment carries lasting consequences.
If something doesn’t belong, PLEASE remove it. If you’ve allowed something in, repent and repair. Because whatever you bring into your marriage doesn’t just affect you—it affects the covenant you vowed to protect.
Lord Jesus, help me to be a gatekeeper over my marriage. Give me wisdom to recognize anything that threatens the unity You have ordained. Give me courage to remove anything that does not belong. Strengthen our bond so that nothing—no temptation, no distraction, no outside—influence can come between us. In Jesus' name I have prayed. Amen.
#BeBetter #LoveBetter #DoBetter #MarriageWorks
2 comments:
God help us to marry well and to uphold the Tenets of a Godly marriage. Amen
Amen
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