Passion Without Burden

A Passion to Teach Without a Burden to Study Is a Desire to Perform

The Bible says in Ezra 7:10 "For Ezra had set his heart to study the Law of the Lord, and to do it and to teach his statutes and rules in Israel."

There is a difference between those who teach because they are burdened by truth and those who teach because they are enamored by the platform. One is driven by conviction, the other by performance.

Ezra was not just a teacher; he was a student first. He set his heart—not just his mind, not just his schedule, but his very heart—to study God's law. He didn't rush to teach before he had immersed himself in the Word, lived it, and allowed it to shape him. His teaching was not a performance but an overflow of personal transformation.

But today, how many rush to teach before they have learned? How many crave the microphone but not the meditation? How many seek an audience but not the altar?

Jesus rebuked the Pharisees because they taught without transformation (Matthew 23:3). They could recite the law but failed to live it. They loved to be called “Rabbi” but were not burdened by the weight of truth.

Teaching is not a stage; it is stewardship. It is a responsibility that demands reverence. If we are not first students, we have no business being teachers. If we do not carry the weight of study, we should not bear the title of teacher.

Before you teach, ask yourself:

• Have I truly studied this, or am I just repeating what I’ve heard?
• Has this word transformed me, or am I only trying to impress others?
• Do I desire to glorify God, or do I crave recognition?

Ezra studied, then he obeyed, and only then did he teach. That is the order. Let us not be teachers who love the sound of our own voices but lack the burden of truth. Let us be students first, transformed first, obedient first—so that when we do teach, it is not a performance, but a pouring out of what God has first done in us.

Teach from the overflow, not from an empty well.

Obedience Over Sacrifice in Marriage

It’s easy to overcompensate with sacrifice when we lack obedience. We throw in grand gestures, acts of service, and even personal suffering to make up for what simple obedience would have accomplished. But the Bible reminds us:

“To obey is better than sacrifice.” – 1 Samuel 15:22

This applies deeply to marriage. Obedience in marriage isn’t just about following rules; it’s about aligning with God’s design for love, unity, and partnership.

What Are We to Obey in Marriage?

As a couple, we are to obey God’s blueprint for marriage:

1. Love and Respect – Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). Wives, respect your husbands (Ephesians 5:33).
2. Unity – “What God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9). Agreement strengthens the marriage (Amos 3:3).
3. Faithfulness – Not just in action but in heart (Matthew 5:28).
4. Forgiveness – Just as Christ forgave us (Colossians 3:13).
5. Submission to God – A marriage centered on Christ is unshakable (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

The Sacrifices We Offer Instead

When we struggle with obedience, we try to compensate with sacrifices:

• Instead of loving sacrificially, we provide financial security or gifts.
• Instead of respect, we serve tirelessly yet resentfully.
• Instead of open communication, we offer silence to “keep the peace.”
• Instead of forgiveness, we bury hurts and pretend they don’t exist.
• Instead of prioritizing our spouse, we pour everything into work, ministry, serving in church, or parenting as an escape.

These sacrifices might look noble, but they don’t replace the simple obedience that leads to true intimacy and oneness.

Choosing Obedience Over Sacrifice

Sacrifice in and of itself isn’t wrong—even Jesus Himself sacrificed for us. But His sacrifice was rooted in obedience (Philippians 2:8). The power in our marriage isn’t in what we “give up” but in what we align with—God’s will.

What if, instead of overcompensating, we simply obey?

What if we love without withholding?
What if we respect without conditions?
What if we communicate instead of avoiding?
What if we forgive as we have been forgiven?

Marriage flourishes not because of how much we sacrifice, but because of how much we obey.

Which sacrifices have I been offering in place of obedience? 🤔🤔🤔

#BeBetter #LoveBetter #DoBetter #MarriageWorks 

All Your Attention vs. Your Full Attention.

"Eskis Sir" (Can I have your attention sir) Your Wife Doesn’t Need All Your Attention—Just Your Full Attention

There’s a difference.

Many of us are physically present but mentally absent. We sit next to our spouse, but our mind is on work. We nod along while scrolling through our phone. We say “I’m listening,” but we’re really just waiting for our turn to speak.

Quality trumps quantity ALWAYS.

When someone gives you their full attention, in that moment, you are the MOST IMPORTANT person in their world.

When Jesus engaged with people, He didn’t try to be everywhere at once, but when He was with someone, they had His full presence. The woman at the well (John 4)? He saw her. Zacchaeus in the tree (Luke 19)? He stopped for him. The bleeding woman in the crowd (Luke 8)? He turned and gave her His full attention.

Marriage needs this kind of presence.

Husbands, your wife doesn’t need you to quit your job, cancel your friendships, or abandon your personal growth in the name of giving her all your attention. She just needs to know that when she has your attention, she has all of it. That means putting the phone down, looking into her eyes, listening—not just hearing.

Ecclesiastes 9:9 (NIV) says,
"Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun..."

Enjoying life together isn’t about never looking away—it’s about being fully present when it matters.

So today, give your wife your full attention—not just whatever’s left over after distractions. I'll start doing the same. 

#BeBetter #LoveBetter #DoBetter #MarriageWorks 

Manipulation in Marriage: A Silent Killer of Trust

I saw this quote and it stuck "Manipulation is when someone blames you for your reaction to their toxic behavior without addressing what they did that triggered the reaction."

Marriage was designed by God to be a relationship of love, truth, and mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21). Yet, manipulation—whether subtle or overt—can creep in, poisoning intimacy and eroding trust.

Should Christian Couples Manipulate?

The answer is a resounding NO. Love does not manipulate; it liberates. 1st Corinthians 13:5 tells us that love "does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." Manipulation, on the other hand, seeks control rather than connection, self-interest rather than selflessness.

But here’s the hard truth: manipulation is often subconscious. We may not even recognize when we’re doing it; things like guilt-tripping, withholding affection, playing the victim, or twisting words to get our way. Even subtle tactics, like exaggerating hurt to win an argument or using silence as punishment, can be forms of manipulation.

How Do We Guard Against This?

1. Examine The Heart - The Bible says “The heart is deceitful above all things…” (Jeremiah 17:9). Ask God to reveal any manipulative tendencies in you. Do you twist situations to make yourself look better? Do you guilt-trip your spouse into compliance? Honest self-reflection with the Holy Spirit is the first step.

2. Communicate With Candor and Grace - There's a whole post on Candor. Instead of manipulation, practice healthy communication (Colossians 4:6). If something bothers you, express it directly rather than through passive-aggressive behavior. "Speak the truth in love..." (Ephesians 4:15).

3. Reject the Blame Game - If you’ve wronged your spouse, own it. Don’t shift blame or make them feel guilty for being hurt. Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the serpent, and sin entered (Genesis 3:12-13). Healing begins when we take responsibility.

4. Choose Servant-Hearted Love - A manipulative spouse tries to win; a godly spouse seeks to love. Instead of seeking control, seek to serve (Philippians 2:3-4). 

5. Pray - "Reveal me to me" is one powerful prayer that we should always pray as children of God. Some manipulative behaviors stem from past wounds. Pray for God to heal your heart and reveal when you’re being influenced by fear, insecurity, or past trauma rather than love and truth.

Manipulation has no place in a marriage built on Christ. True love doesn’t coerce, trick, or twist—it trusts, sacrifices, and builds up.

"Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good." —Romans 12:9

A good question to ask ourselves: Am I influencing my spouse in love, or manipulating them in fear? The difference could make or break the trust in your marriage.

#BeBetter #LoveBetter #DoBetter #MarriageWorks

Not Everything Needs a Reason.

As humans, we have a deep desire to make sense of the things happening around us. When life throws curveballs, our minds immediately start searching for reasons—cause and effect, logic and explanations.

But what if some things aren't meant to be "figured out"?

Job's story is a perfect example. When his world collapsed, his friends came, not just to comfort him, but to analyze his suffering. Surely, they thought, there must be a reason—maybe hidden sin, maybe divine punishment. They assigned meaning where there was none, speaking with confidence about things they did not understand.

Until God showed up.

And when He did, He didn’t give Job the why behind his suffering. Instead, He reminded Job of who He is.

"Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand." — Job 38:4

Sometimes, our need for answers leads us to conclusions that are not only wrong but also unhelpful. We speculate, we assume, we create "logical" explanations for things that may be beyond human logic.

But maybe, just maybe, faith isn’t about understanding everything. Maybe it’s about trusting God even when nothing makes sense.

Maybe it’s about resting in the fact that God knows, even when we don’t.

So the next time you find yourself scrambling for explanations, pause. Maybe the answer isn’t yours to figure out. Maybe it’s an invitation to trust the One who holds all things in His hands.

Some things don’t need a reason. They just need faith.