Emotional immaturity isn’t just about throwing tantrums or avoiding responsibility. It’s deeper than that. It’s an inability—or worse, an unwillingness—to stay regulated when anger, fear, or hurt show up. And let’s be honest, they will show up.
Dr. Frederick Haynes III lays it out clearly:
- It looks like dishonesty or withholding truth for personal gain.
- It looks like treating every disagreement as a war instead of a conversation.
- It looks like selfishness, criticism, control, manipulation, deflection, and stonewalling.
- It looks like refusing to apologize because you feel justified in your hurtful actions.
- It looks like calling others toxic while ignoring your role in the cycle.
Here’s the reality (and it's sobering): It takes two to tango. Dysfunction doesn’t sustain itself alone. Someone fuels the fire while another fans the flames.
But here’s the hope: Emotional maturity is a choice.
Apostle Paul wrote in 1st Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”
Growth is not automatic...it’s intentional.
- Instead of dishonesty, choose truth. (Ephesians 4:25)
- Instead of treating disagreements as war, pursue peace. (Romans 12:18)
- Instead of manipulation, choose humility. (Philippians 2:3)
- Instead of deflecting, take responsibility. (Proverbs 28:13)
The real test of maturity isn’t how well you talk about growth, but how you walk in it. The enemy thrives in emotional dysfunction, but God is calling us to transformation.
So my question is: Are you still making excuses, or are you making changes?
#BeBetter #LoveBetter #DoBetter #MarriageWorks
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