Social media is filled with videos captioned: How I apologize to my husband when he’s mad at me. You’ve probably seen them - wives subtly removing layers under the covers, giving their husbands a very clear invitation, using intimacy as a shortcut to peace.
At first glance, it may seem harmless, even endearing. After all, intimacy is a gift in marriage, a means of connection, of breaking down walls, of reaffirming love. But let’s be honest...there’s a thin line between using intimacy to restore connection and using it to escape accountability.
Sex as a Shortcut to Reconciliation?
Marriage is built on love and commitment, but it thrives on trust and communication. Conflict is natural in any relationship, and how we handle it matters. Intimacy can be a beautiful expression of love and a way to draw near to each other after a difficult moment. But when used as a distraction from genuine repentance, it becomes a tool of avoidance rather than healing.
According to scripture, marriage should be a place of truth Ephesians 4:25 says "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully...". Using physical connection to bypass difficult conversations may bring momentary relief, but it does not foster true unity.
The Difference Between Reconnection and Manipulation
The heart behind an action often reveals whether it is reconciliation or manipulation. Consider these questions:
- Is intimacy being used to invite reconnection so that deeper healing can follow?
- Has there been a sincere effort to acknowledge wrongdoing and make amends?
- Does one partner feel obligated to accept intimacy as a replacement for an actual apology?
A biblical approach to conflict doesn’t sweep things under the carpet of orgasms. True love seeks to repair, not just reset. 1 Corinthians 13:6 reminds us that love "does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." Real connection comes when we walk in honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Accountability: A Sign of Maturity in Marriage
A heart that values the relationship will embrace accountability. It will seek to make things right, not just make things quiet. Apologizing with words, taking responsibility, and genuinely working toward understanding shows a desire for growth. Intimacy is then restored as an overflow of that unity, rather than a Band-Aid/Plaster covering an unresolved issue.
Marriage was never meant to be built on performance-based acceptance. True oneness - spiritually, emotionally, and physically - flourishes when both partners commit to honesty, vulnerability, and accountability. So let’s not confuse reconciliation with evasion. Let’s build marriages where both intimacy and integrity thrive together.
#BeBetter #LoveBetter #DoBetter #MarriageWorks
No comments:
Post a Comment