STOP the comparison

Comparisons in Marriage

In 2 Corinthians 10:12, the Apostle Paul cautions believers against the dangers of comparisons, saying, “We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.” This Scripture highlights how constantly measuring our lives—or our marriages—against others can undermine true growth and contentment. Instead, we are called to find our security and identity in God, not in how we stack up next to someone else.

One particularly powerful picture of this principle is found in Proverbs 5:15: “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.” This proverb uses the imagery of water and wells to teach us a deep lesson about marital faithfulness and satisfaction. Just as a person would tend to their own well to ensure a fresh, abundant supply of water, God wants us to invest our time, energy, and love into the one relationship He has given us in marriage. Focusing on what we have at home—rather than gazing longingly at someone else’s situation—fosters true fulfillment and guards our hearts from discontent.

In practical terms, this looks like:

1. Gratitude – Regularly thanking God for your spouse and the strengths in your marriage. Remembering the blessings already present in your relationship curbs the temptation to look outward for what you think might be “missing.”

2. Intentional Investment – Cultivating your marriage with thoughtful communication, shared activities, and spiritual growth. When you “water” your relationship with quality time and heartfelt care, it grows stronger, just like a well-maintained cistern.

3. Avoiding Unhealthy Comparisons – Recognizing that every marriage has unique challenges and joys. Often, we only see the highlight reels of other couples. Understand that true intimacy flourishes when you both work to honor God and each other—no one else’s marriage can define your standard of love.

By heeding Paul’s counsel to avoid the comparison trap, and by embracing the wisdom of Proverbs to “drink from our own well,” we open ourselves to a deeper connection with our spouse and with God. When our focus remains on honoring Him within our marriage, He provides the living water that continually refreshes, strengthens, and satisfies.

#BeBetter #LoveBetter #DoBetter #MarriageWorks