Welcomed Wolves

I remember the uproar during the "child not bride" campaign in Nigeria. Everyone spoke with one voice to condemn the act of Pedophilia; I remember that compelling video that Stella Damasus did...it brought tears to my eyes. But do you know there may be a pedophile living under your roof? Or one that visits your home and is received with open arms. He could be your brother, your friend, your gate man...you may not believe it but it is more common than you can imagine. If only our daughters were as bold as the kids in some other parts of the world...if we gave them access...if they trusted us enough to protect and not judge them, the things we would uncover. Many men would be in jail for sleeping with under-aged girls, many men would stand trial for sexual abuse of a minor. Men you see as responsible in the society...even some that are holding political and religious offices. If you don't believe what I'm saying, let the women come out of their closets and tell us what they experienced growing up. I know of a girl that slapped her uncle in public because the uncle tried to hug her and the uncle didn't say anything. People were wondering why she treated her uncle like that...such insolence. Why was uncle silent? He had abused the lady many times when she was a little girl, when he was living with the girl's parents. Uncle was the babysitter, uncle was the one at home when the girl got back from school, uncle was the trusted family member that her parents could afford to leave her with while going about their pursuit of happiness and their shenanigans. The girl never told anyone.
Picture this, a 13 year old orphan living with her unmarried aunt (let's say her name is Ebere)...got introduced to the aunt's boyfriend who took special interest in her (let's call this guy Uncle Ayo). "I am moved by Ebere's story...henceforth, I will cater for her needs...anything she needs I will provide" said Uncle Ayo. Sounds like a good gesture, right? We shall see.
Uncle Ayo started to give Ebere pocket money and buy her toiletries and gifts. Uncle Ayo must have been sent by God to wipe Ebere's tears and fill the void left by the demise of her parents. Uncle Ayo would come every Sunday night to hand Ebere her pocket money for that week. This particular Sunday Uncle Ayo failed to show up...then he came on Monday evening and gave a cock and bull story of why he didn’t make it. “You know what? From now on, just stop by at my office on your way from school on Mondays to collect your money” said Uncle Ayo. “Thanks sir, God bless you” was Ebere’s response…even her aunt said thank you. Two weeks into the new arrangement, Ebere got to Uncle Ayo’s office, he gave her money and some other stuff and as Ebere was about to take her leave, Uncle Ayo said “Wait, I was gonna buy you some brassieres but not sure of what size to buy…could you lift your top so I can see what your breasts look like? That way I would know what size to buy”. “Ah! Don’t worry about it…my aunt gave me some already” was all Ebere could say as she ran out. Ebere stopped going to Uncle Ayo’s office but couldn’t tell her aunt what happened. She didn’t wanna be the one that ruined their relationship; she didn’t wanna be an ingrate to the aunt that gave her shelter after her parents passed. 
“Uncle Ayo said you haven’t been coming to his office” said her aunt a few weeks after the incident…”I’ve been busy with school work and chores” was all Ebere could say. Ebere later asked her aunt for some money and she said “I don’t have any money for you o…you better go to Uncle Ayo”. 
When Ebere ran out of transport money to school, she had to go to Uncle Ayo. “Have you been avoiding me? I was only trying to help…see me as your uncle, I can never hurt you” said Uncle Ayo and he gave her money...more than he had ever given her, and didn’t attempt to do anything. After a while, Ebere felt comfortable with him again and started going to him like she used to. On this fateful day, Ebere was at Uncle Ayo’s office, he told her to help him pick something from the drawer and as she bent over, Uncle Ayo grabbed her from behind and it became a struggle…her school uniform was ripped as the perverted Uncle was trying to take her clothes off…somehow, Ebere managed to escape and she ran home crying. She was like 14 or 15 years old when this happened to her. She never told her aunt anything…as a matter of fact, she never told anybody. After that painful experience, she started trekking to school since she couldn’t go back to Uncle Ayo and her aunt wouldn’t give her money. 
How many Eberes are out there? How many Eberes simply go with the flow? How many Eberes are being abused by seemingly harmless “self-imposed” uncles? How many aunties/mothers are blindly exposing their girls to sexual predators because of the false ease it brings to their burdens?
Here’s another one. Dara is an eleven year old girl that commutes to school in Lagos. This is her everyday experience…men old enough to be her dad, shamefully poking her with their erections in the bus. She said as at the time she was 9, men would offer their laps for her to sit so she could save her transport money…but with ulterior motives. Men dressed for work, men with wedding rings on, it didn’t matter which bus she was on, there were perverted men on them. Men with daughters at home, poking somebody else’s daughter with their erections…she said one man once reached out and squeezed her just blossoming breasts…she froze and couldn’t even turn to look at the person perpetrating such sickening atrocity. She wouldn’t say anything on the bus out of embarrassment…she would just stand there and quiver at the shameful acts of these men. Her worst experience was the day a man actually ejaculated on her school uniform. She’s not even a teenager yet. Older women experience this as well, I was once in a “Molue” bus where this lady slapped the man behind her and was raining curses and abusive words on him and was going to make a scene…the man didn’t say a word. He simply got off at the next bus stop. A lady once pushed a guy off a commercial motorcycle because she had run out of space to move to, when the guy sitting behind her kept poking her with his erected manhood. She had moved so far away from the pervert behind that she was practically massaging the “okada” rider with her bosom and the okada driver/rider was also enjoying it and tilting backwards. She got so angry that she pushed the guy behind her off the motorcycle.
How many Daras are being abused in buses everyday? How many Daras have been exposed to a life of promiscuity by these perverts?
Boys get sexually abused too, although it’s not as common as that of girls. Let’s give these girls a voice…let’s give them access to justice…let’s flush out the perverts. Let’s start by teaching our girls how to identify inappropriate advances and actions and how to report it. Let your girls trust you enough to share their fears with you…watch out for unusual behaviors and withdrawals. Don’t force your girls to go to places they are reluctant to go or to visit people they, all of sudden, don’t like visiting.
Let’s flush out the Pedophiles and perverts

© 2015 Lanre Olagbaju All Rights Reserved