Sandra was a teller at
one of the New Generation banks on Lagos Island and she had noticed this particular
customer that would always wait until her window was free and walk up to her to
do his business. Other members of Sandra’s team had noticed it as well…even her
manager would say “your ‘customer’ is here”,
anytime the guy walked in.
The guy would thank her, smile and walk away after
every transaction. The guy had never said more than “how are you?” and those
other short silence fillers.
The guy came in on this
day, looked at her for a while and said “wow, nice hairstyle…sits great on
you”.
Sandra was not sure what to make of it, she said thank you and could not
help but blush. “By the way, my name is Mike. I’m sure you already know” he
said as he was about to leave. “My name is Sandra” she replied.
“I know, it’s on your
badge…I’ve always known. Nice talking to you” the guy said as he walked away.
From that day on, anytime this guy came in, he would chat with Sandra
for a little bit…he seemed to like her but it looked like something was holding
him back.
Sandra was like most
single female bankers in Nigeria…the nature of her job and the time she put
into it, made it very hard to have a social life. Her last boyfriend left her
because he kept complaining that she did not have time for him.
She did
everything to make it work but the demands of her job strained the relationship
and did not allow it to blossom. The last she heard of the guy was that he was
getting married.
Sandra was in her early thirties and pressure was mounting
from her family that kept telling her to “settle down”. She had left her mum’s
place in anger a couple of times when she visited her in Akure.
“Do you think I
don’t want to get married? Or will I conjure a man from thin air?” she told her
mum, on one of those occasions.
Her mum did not seem to care about her excuses
but kept reminding her of all her friends that she grew up with, who had gotten
married already.
Sandra recently gave her
life to Christ and was just getting a hang
of her new Christian faith. It was different from
the Christianity that she grew up practicing. She was raised to pray in the
morning and to do her best to be good to everyone.
She had always had a lot of
questions with only a few, not so satisfactory, answers until a friend invited
her to a church on the Island where she saw a totally different kind of
Christianity. The word that day came as if the pastor knew all the questions she
had been carrying in her mind for years. She could not remain on her seat when
they made the altar call. She rushed out with tears in her eyes as she
surrendered all to Jesus.
She had been trying to nurture this new found
relationship but her job had really held her back. Once in a while she would
catch up with the mid-week service as they were rounding up. She tried her best
to attend Sunday services regularly but she had not been able to register for
the new believers’ class.
One Wednesday afternoon
at work, Mike (her strange customer) walked in as usual and after his
transaction asked what she was doing later that evening.
“You know us bankers…I
do not see myself leaving this place until after 7pm” she said. “What about
this weekend then?” Mike asked again.
“I will check my
schedule and get back to you…if you give me your number” she responded.
“Don’t worry, give me
yours…I’ll call you” Mike said as he handed his phone to Sandra to punch her
number in.
“He looks like a nice
guy” Ngozi (her nosy colleague) said
“I don’t know o…I don’t
even know what he wants to talk about” Sandra responded
“What else? Are you
trying to tell me you haven’t noticed the way he looks at you anytime he comes
around?” Ngozi said again
“Not at all…I won’t jump
the gun on this one, I’ve done that in the past with nothing to show for it. I
will wait to hear what he has to say” Sandra replied.
Later that evening, Sandra was just getting
into her apartment when her phone rang, it was a private number…she almost
did not pick up because of the stories she had heard of scammers calling
with private numbers. She later chose to pick the call and hang up if she did
not know the caller.
“Hi, how was your day at
work” said the person on the other side of the line. The voice sounded a little
familiar;
“Fine…thanks” she
responded.
“This is Mike; I hope
it’s not too late” the person said.
“Of course not, I actually just
got in” she responded
They talked for a while
and agreed to see each other the next Saturday afternoon.
Mike offered to pick
her up at her house but she insisted on meeting with him at a restaurant on the
Island. They met on Saturday as arranged; Mike was already waiting at the
restaurant. It was not a bad first outing; they focused on getting to know each
other better. Sandra liked him…he was well-mannered and had a good sense of
humor. Something did not feel right though…she felt like Mike was hiding
something. She shrugged it off but decided not to let her guard down.
Her friends at work
could not wait to hear the full gist of how everything went the following
Monday.
“So how did it go?”
Ngozi asked.
“Not too bad for a first
date” Sandra responded
“Sounds like there will
be another…” Ngozi said with that “I told you so” look on her face
“Well, I won’t say
no…the guy is really cool” said Sandra as she tried to hide the smile on her
face.
Three months passed and
things had gotten a little more serious between Sandra and Mike. It was looking
good but Sandra still felt like something was wrong.
Mike would always excuse
himself to go take a call. If he took a call in Sandra's presence, he would just
blurt a couple of words and end the call. There was a day he took a call, they
were driving on 3rd mainland
bridge…it was late at night. Mike had come to pick her at work and all he said
on the call was “Driving now, will call you later”.
She wanted to ask who Mike
was talking to but didn’t want to appear as intrusive…then Mike said “that’s a
friend of mine in the US, he wants me to help him get a landed property but he
calls at odd times. Will call him back when I get home”. She also noticed that
Mike never invited her to his house…he would rather they hung out at his
friend’s place in Magodo or at Sandra’s place. Sandra lived by herself in a
self-contained apartment in Maryland.
When she took it up with him, Mike told
her he was living with his uncle and did not want to entertain his guests at
his uncle’s place. Mike said he was building a house in Mowe along Lagos-Ibadan
expressway and did not think it was financially wise for him to rent a house
when he was almost done building his own. He took Sandra there a couple of
times and indeed the house was almost completed.
Mike was a stockbroker
and he made good money, Sandra also noticed that he always had
International wire transfers coming into his account and lots of Western Union
transfers. Mike’s answer was that he had a lot of contacts in the United States
and he was helping them to get landed properties and even build houses.
It started with one of them and because he did a good job, others trusted him
with their money and he loved the fact that he was able to help people and make
some money at the same time.
“Most of these people had trusted family members
with their money and regretted it…I know a guy who got swindled by his own
father. He had sent a lot of money, the father sent him pictures of a building
project and when the guy came home, there was nothing…the father didn’t even
buy a bag of cement”. Mike added.
Sandra felt happy that
he had such a smart, trustworthy and honest guy as a boyfriend…Mike was not
very religious but he would follow Sandra to church once in a while.
Sandra
stopped bothering herself with the international calls after she figured they
were calls from Mike’s international clients…the people he was helping.
“You know you can become a big real estate consultant? And own your own
business one of these days” Sandra said to Mike and his response was “Yes baby,
that’s the bigger picture”.
.
.
.
“So have you guys
done it?” Ngozi asked Sandra one Monday morning.
Ngozi was one of those people
that had no respect for personal space and didn’t see any question as too
personal. She had been like a relationship advisor to Sandra since this
relationship with Mike started. Ngozi was getting married in a couple of months
and had also met her fiancé at the teller line about a year ago. She knew Sandra
had been having issues with Mike who has been pestering her for sex.
“No o. You know I’m a
child of God. At first, Mike said he understood and appreciated my chastity vow
but he has been coming on strong lately” Sandra Responded.
“It’s really hard for me
too…he is such a nice guy and makes me happy. There are times I just feel like
jumping at him. God will uphold me sha” She added.
“I am not saying you
shouldn’t be a Christian o. Am I not a Christian too?
But is it not the same
Bible that says the master of the manager commended him for being shrewd?
You have a good thing
going…do you want to ruin it?
Won’t you sleep with him
when you eventually marry him?
Do you want to lose him
to another girl that is willing to sleep with him now?” asked Ngozi.
“After all, it’s not
like you are a virgin…and you guys do all the ‘other things’ now, wetin
remain?” Ngozi added.
“I’m just afraid…my
conscience will haunt me. What if God doesn’t forgive me? My Pastor preached
against Pre-marital sex, he still did on Sunday and Mike was there” answered Sandra
“How did that your
conscience help when your former boyfriend left you and married another person?
How many of those
Pastors married without touching their wives?
God is merciful and He
understands…if he forgave them, He will forgive you too.
I am just being real
with you, let’s put the Bible on one side and be real.
How many guys will even
wait 5 months?
You have a guy that
treats you right, he has a good job, a bright future and has almost completed
his house…he even told you that he plans to move into it as soon as he gets
married. You want to get another wedding invitation with Mike as the groom and
another girl as the bride?” Ngozi asked again
Sandra kept quiet for a while,
she looked bothered…she was pondering on everything Ngozi said.
Ngozi then told Sandra
how she also didn’t want to ‘play ball’ with her fiancé but when the guy
insisted that “he would not buy what he hadn’t tasted” and she saw that the guy
was serious about marrying her, she had to do the needful.
“All those younger
girls are willing and they have time on their side…if we get a serious guy,
wouldn’t it be very stupid of us to let him go because he wants a taste of the
pudding? God will forgive us, He knows we have to do what we have to do” Ngozi
said as she left for the vault to replenish her till.
Sandra thought about it
all day and the fear of starting all over again gripped her heart…it had been
almost 5 months since she started seeing Mike and it had been wonderful.
Mike was a gentleman and he was always there for her. He was even going to
drive her down to Akure that weekend to see her mum…who had been indisposed
for about a week now.
Friday Afternoon, Sandra
closed early…her manager had allowed her, because she was travelling to see her
mum. Mike took her and they got to Akure around 7:30 pm.
Sandra noticed there was
an X-Ray result and some documents on the back seat of the car, she asked who
they were for and Mike told her not to worry about it. That he was
supposed to drop it off for someone earlier but couldn’t because of traffic.
Mike had bought some
provisions…lots of them and Sandra’s mum was very happy to see them. She could
not contain her joy.
“Maami, I thought you had typhoid fever? You look nothing
like what they told me over the phone” Sandra asked
“Yes I did but with what
I am seeing, my sickness has disappeared” her mum responded
Sandra's mum kept asking Mike all
kinds of questions…anytime Sandra tried to interrupt, she would say it didn’t
concern her.
After they had eaten, Sandra’s mum turned to Mike and asked
“So
when are you making it official? I have heard so much about you and my daughter
said you have been really good to her…so what is causing the delay?”
Sandra
could tell that Mike was a little bit uncomfortable but her mum wouldn’t let
her get involved.
“Don’t worry Ma, as soon
as we get back to Lagos, I will start working on that…I wanted to see her
family first and know the kind of home she came from. She has told me a lot too
but I wanted to see for myself" was Mike’s response.
Sandra’s mum was
elated…looked like her prayers had been answered. Mike excused himself to take
a call and Sandra got talking with her mum.
“This is what I have
been asking for…see his posture, can you see this one and say you haven’t seen
a man?” Sandra’s mum asked
“I don’t know…he is a
little too secretive for me. I always feel like I don’t really know him” Sandra
responded
“I bind that spirit in
you…the spirit that does not want you to marry, I cast it into the bottomless
pit, in chains of iron until the judgment day in Jesus’ name” her mum responded with anger.
“What else do you want?
Someone followed you all the way to Akure to see your mother.
Didn’t you see
all the things he bought for me?
I can now see that you are the one with a
problem and I know how to handle it.
All the household wickedness from your father
side that do not want you to settle down, Holy Ghost fire will consume them” Sandra’s
mum said.
“Which one is Holy Ghost
Fire consumption again?” Sandra asked as she couldn't contain the laughter
“I attend a new Church
now o and my hands have been trained to battle any household wickedness” her
mum responded.
“Ok oh…if you say I
should go on, no problem” Sandra said.
Mike pestered Sandra for
sex again that night. They had slept in the guest room together and Sandra must
have set the mood because she wanted to show how grateful she was for everything
Mike did. They had gone from simple kissing to about an inch from crossing that
line. Then Sandra pulled back and reminded Mike of her stand
“What else do you want
me to do? I have officially met the parent and family…what else do I need to do
to physically show you how committed I am?” Mike said.
“I know your stand and
all that, but I have tried…even heavens know that I have waited but I’m
definitely not going to wait till the wedding night…I know a thing or two about this religion too and
this is not my own kind of Christianity.
My Christianity is the type that
‘tests’ all things so I can hold on to what is true. Besides, we have come too
far to turn away now? You have taken me to a point where I cannot take no for
an answer” He added as they continued kissing and finally she let go.
Maybe it was what Ngozi
told her during the week or what her mother said or the fact that Mike hinted
that he was about to make it official…Sandra let go against her Christian
beliefs.
They left Akure and Sandra
could sense that something was off with Mike…she asked what the issue was and
He said he was fine. He pecked her on the left cheek and smiled. They got to
Lagos and Mike slept at Sandra’s place.
“I guess I can meet your
mysterious uncle now” Sandra asked as they were leaving for work the following
morning
“Sure, about time”
answered Mike as he drove her to work. Sandra had only been to Mike’s house
twice.
The first time was the day Mike showed her the place but she didn’t go
in. The second time was the day Mike said he left something important at home
and had to go get it. She entered for a few minutes that day because she had to
use the bathroom. Mike said his uncle was not home on that day…and that was the
reason she allowed her to come in. He didn’t even let her look around; he
quickly rushed her out of the house.
“What is so bad in bringing your
girlfriend to the house?” Sandra had asked but Mike said it was about how he
felt and that she shouldn’t worry…he would soon be moving to his own place and
she could choose to do anything she wanted there.
“I almost forgot, I need
to take someone to the US Embassy on Thursday…I had committed myself and can’t
get out of it” Mike informed Sandra as she was about to get out of the car.
“You and your kind
heart” Sandra said as she smiled and walked to her office.
After the journey to
Akure, it became all about sex…at Sandra’s house, at Mike’s friend’s house he
even got a hotel room on one occasion when his friend was not at home. Sandra
asked why the relationship was becoming more about physical intimacy. Mike
laughed and said it was because he was crazy about her and couldn’t wait to
have her to himself forever.
“As soon as the house is ready, we are going for
it…I’m done sneaking around. You are moving in and we are making this official”
he said.
Sandra was really happy
and when he told Ngozi about it she said “What did I tell you? See what
you almost missed because you wouldn’t ‘play ball’. Once you are married now,
it wouldn’t matter whether you did it before you got married or not”.
“Na u sabi, God should
just have mercy on me” Sandra responded.
Sandra started avoiding
church because of the fear of what her conscience would do to her if the Pastor
mentioned anything about fornication.
About a month after the
Akure trip, Mike had scheduled for Sandra to meet his uncle, she was very
excited…then he cancelled. He said his uncle had to travel and that they would
go see him when he got back. A night before the day they originally planned to
go see Mike’s uncle, Mike was at Sandra’s place and couldn’t sleep all night…he
was restless. In the morning he gave Sandra an envelope and told her not to
open it until her birthday which was still a couple of weeks from then.
“Why not wait till my birthday to give this to me?" Sandra asked
“Don’t ask questions…I
just have to do this. Promise me you won’t open it until your birthday” replied
Mike
“Ok then, I promise…but
you know I’m not good with suspense” said Sandra
They visited Mike’s
friend at Magodo that day and Mike must have been in the room discussing with
his friend for over 3 hours…Sandra had to watch a 2-part Nollywood home video and
kept wondering what they were talking about.
A few days after that,
Mike called Sandra and said he wouldn’t be able to come pick her at work
because he was taking his uncle to the airport and would stay with him till it
was time to go through security check. It was a last-minute arrangement and he
wanted Sandra to be in his uncle’s good books so he did not want to say No
because of her.
“No wahala, I will take
a cab. Just call me when you get back to the house and if you can still make
it, you can come over…I have news for you” Sandra said
“What news?” Asked Mike
“I am not spilling,
remember the suspense you put me in as well…so you have to wait till we see”
She responded.
“No problem…I’ll see you
when I see you. You know I would never willingly hurt you right?” said Mike as
he hung up.
Sandra woke up at about
2:30 am; she had dozed off on the couch. She checked her phone to see if Mike
had called but she didn’t miss any call. She tried to call him but his phone
was switched off.
She was a little worried
but thought maybe Mike couldn’t make it after his uncle left and he forgot to
charge his phone. She tried again at 6am
but still couldn’t get through. It was a Saturday morning…she was getting
scared, with all the ‘what if scenarios’ playing in her head.
By 9:30 am she was
really worried…she got up and took a cab to Mike’s uncle’s house. When she got
there, the gate was locked from outside. She kept calling Mike’s phone and it
was still switched off. She tried calling Mike’s friend in Magodo but wasn’t
sure of the guy’s number. She decided to go there to see if he knew Mike’s
whereabouts. She knocked on the door and
Mike’s friend was surprised to see her.
“Have you heard from
Mike? I have been calling his number over and over to no avail” Sandra said
“He’s not going to get
there till like 9pm our time” the guy responded
“He’s not going to get
where? What are you talking about?” asked Sandra…her confusion could not be
hidden.
“Oh my! I thought you
knew…he said he told you. He said you were cool with it” the guy said. He was
as confused as Sandra.
“You thought I knew
what?
Cool with what?” Sandra asked again, tears welling up in her eyes
Mike’s friend sat her
down and explained how he thought Mike had informed her that he was actually
married and his wife was in the United States filing for him. How the filing
had gone through and he was doing all the travelling preparations.
“I have seen him take
his wife’s call many times with you there with him…I thought you knew. He said
you knew…this is just wrong. I had asked him what you guys were doing and he
said you were his steady girlfriend while waiting for his travelling
arrangements to be perfected. He said you were on board and were just having
fun as well and you knew it was not a serious thing” The guy continued
As the guy rambled on, Sandra’s
mind started connecting the dots and she realized that all the signs were there
but she had completely ignored them. She didn’t know whether to scream or shout
or cry. She was quiet for minutes with the tears flowing freely.
Mike’s friend felt for
her but what could he do.
“What about his uncle?” Sandra
asked
“What Uncle?” The guy
replied
“The one he lives with…”
Sandra said
Mike’s friend explained
how Mike had said that he would not take any girlfriend to his house out of
respect for his wife and because he didn’t want them to feel too comfortable.
“Mike does not
have any close family in Lagos, which I know of…his elder brother lives in
Canada. He is the owner of the house in Mowe. The one that Mike was overseeing”
The guy said again.
Sandra couldn’t handle
it anymore…she had been living a lie and was building castles in the air. She
told the guy she had to leave. The guy didn’t know how to comfort or console
her; he was also dumbfounded at the turn of events. As Sandra sat at the back
of the cab, trying hard to fight back her tears …she remembered the letter Mike had
given to her about a week before that. She rushed into her apartment and went
straight for the letter
“Dear Sandra,
I’m so sorry you had to
find out this way. I never meant to hurt you. I was just out for fun and needed
someone to spend time with. I never knew I would meet someone as wonderful as
you…I was not prepared for that part.
Trust me, if I wasn’t
married, you would be my number one choice. You are such a darling. I wanted to
tell you but I couldn’t bear to tell you the truth. I was afraid because of how
devastated you would be.
I wasn’t expecting a
girl of your age to believe so much in chastity and I kept pestering you with
the hope that you would ask me to go and that way I would avoid breaking up
with you or breaking your heart.
I was nice to you because that’s exactly what
you deserve…I wanted to use the sex issue as a way out of the relationship, I really
didn’t know you would cave.
I’m so sorry and I wish
I could turn back the hands of time; I would have left you alone. I pray that
God will find you a good man that will truly appreciate you.
I left a check of
N500,000 enclosed, I am not paying you off but I just felt like doing something
to make up for the hurt I have caused you.
I’m really sorry…I would
never willingly hurt you.
Take care of yourself,
Mike
Sandra sat there as if
the world had ended…the surprise she had for Mike was that she was 4 weeks
pregnant…she sat there and cried for hours. Her mum was calling but she couldn't pick the phone.
There were RED flags all over...we will talk about them later
But first, lemme know what you think
What are the things Sandra could have done to avoid this?
