The word good has been debased because everyone has their own standard of what qualifies as good…however, as children of God, we should decide what is right and wrong based on His word. I saw this on someone’s page and loved it “What is good? Only God has the supreme authority to define good and evil”
We should be wary of the society’s idea/definition of ‘good’…Isaiah 5:20 says “What sorrow for those who say that evil is good and good is evil, that dark is light and light is dark, that bitter is sweet and sweet is bitter”
The Greek word translated “goodness,” agathosune, is defined as "uprightness of heart and life." It doesn’t just refer to an attitude or a motivation, but a lifestyle characterized by virtue and helpfulness.
Someone defined goodness as doing the right thing for the right reason
Goodness is virtue and holiness in action.
It is how you show who/what you claim to be.
It is the moral characteristic of someone who claims to be filled with the Spirit of God.
Goodness is not a quality that a man can just pick up; we know that God is good so it takes the Spirit of God to help a person be good.
Everyone can be good as a form of reciprocation but by God’s standard; we are to do good and be good even to those who hate us…to those we consider undeserving of it.
It is God, through the work of the Holy Spirit in us, who reproduces His goodness in our hearts and ultimately in our lives.
It takes a life that abides in Him to bear the fruit of goodness. “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing”- John 15:1-2
According to Ephesians 5:8-10, some other words like truth, righteousness, justice and light are used as synonyms for goodness: “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord.” They go hand-in-hand, goodness that is devoid of truth, righteousness, justice and light is mere niceness.
A spouse being good/living out ‘goodness’ in a marriage seems like a no brainer…but come to think of it, is this always the case?
How beautiful it would be, if we appropriated this virtue (goodness) in our marriages and relationships…it enables a person to be a good husband, a good wife, a good fiancée, a good fiancé.
As Christians in God-centered marriages/relationships, we are supposed to mirror Christ to our spouse/partner…
We should BE GOOD.
How?
·
By being willing to serve not just be served.
·
By being truthful in words, deeds and intentions
We should DO GOOD
How?
·
By encouraging our spouses/partners when they have things
they are struggling with. We should show our support and let them know that we believe
in them
·
By knowing what refreshes our spouses/partners when they are
spent/drained physically and emotionally; and making it happen
·
By making life a little easier for them…helping in any
way we can
We should STIR GOOD
How?
·
By encouraging our spouses/partners to get closer to God
(since He is the source of goodness)
·
By praying for our spouses/partners
·
By encouraging them into godly friendships/alliances
·
By encouraging them from the word of God
So when you feel your spouse/partner has crossed the line and you are plotting a way to ‘deal with’ him or her…let goodness well up inside of you. Remember that you are God’s handiwork, created in Jesus Christ to do good works (Ephesians 2:10); Just like a cup of water spills water when bumped; a child of God who is filled with the Spirit should spill goodness when shoved.
Don’t ever get to a point where you feel you have been too good to your spouse/partner for too long and you start to consider withdrawing the goodness. “So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up” (Galatians 6:9). Another version says “And when we do what is good, let it not be tedious to us…”
Work on your heart…the Bible actually enjoins us to GUARD our hearts. Watch what you feed your heart; watch if it fosters goodness or evil. Stay connected to the source of goodness…you cannot give what you do not have. “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart…” – Luke 6:45
Part of being good to your spouse/partner is being sincere with them. No hypocrisy, don’t pretend to like what you don’t and don’t lie when they ask for your opinion (letting our words be seasoned with salt is not the same as lying) Romans 12:9 says “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good”
Let your motives be right…one of the key differences between goodness and niceness is motive. Doing it for the right reason. Don’t do good to impress, do it to glorify God. Matthew 5:16 says “…let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven”.
Goodness should ultimately bring glory to God not just commendations to the person being good.
Is there something you consider evil in your spouse/partner? Use goodness to overcome it. Our expressions of goodness diminish or negate the effects of evil in the world. “Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good” Romans12:21
Be fair when dealing with your spouse. Put yourself in his/her shoes from time to time.
Goodness is motivated by a desire to please God…when you deal with your spouse/partner with a desire to please God, you can never be ‘found wanting’ in the area of goodness. Whatever is happening between you and your partner let your desire be to please God.
The Bible says “a good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit…” however this is the good news, Matthew 12:33 says “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit”.
Allow the Spirit of God to work in you, and you will bear the fruit of goodness…as this fruit of goodness is displayed through you, the two of you will experience greater joy and connection with each other and God and your marriage will be better for it.
Time for me to go work on being good to, doing good for and stirring good in my wife…so help me God
Note: If you are in an abusive relationship (Physical or Emotional), seek professional help
Picture Credit (c) robyncobb.com
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