To understand where I’m coming from, let me share the story in 1 Samuel 25:2-35
A very rich man was in Maon, whose possessions and business were in Carmel. He had 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats, and he was shearing his sheep in Carmel.
The man’s name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail; she was a woman of good understanding, and beautiful. But the man was rough and evil in his doings; he was a Calebite.
David heard in the wilderness that Nabal was shearing his sheep.
And David sent out ten young men and said to them, Go up to Carmel to Nabal and greet him in my name; And salute him thus: Peace be to you and to your house and to all that you have. I have heard that you have shearers. Now your shepherds have been with us and we did them no harm, and they missed nothing all the time they were in Carmel.
Ask your young men and they will tell you. Therefore let my young men find favor in your sight, for we come at an opportune time. I pray you, give whatever you have at hand to your servants and to your son David.
And when David’s young men came, they said all this to Nabal in the name of David, and then paused.
And Nabal answered David’s servants and said, Who is David? Who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants nowadays who are each breaking away from his master. Shall I then take my bread and my water, and my meat that I have killed for my shearers, and give it to men when I do not know where they belong? So David’s young men turned away, and came and told him all that was said.
And David said to his men, Every man gird on his sword. And they did so, and David also girded on his sword; and there went up after David about 400 men, and 200 remained with the baggage. But one of Nabal’s young men told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, Behold, David sent messengers out of the wilderness to salute our master, and he railed at them. But David’s men were very good to us, and we were not harmed, nor did we miss anything as long as we went with them, when we were in the fields. They were a wall to us night and day, all the time we were with them keeping the sheep. So know this and consider what you will do, for evil is determined against our master and all his house. For he is such a wicked man that one cannot speak to him.
Then Abigail made haste and took 200 loaves, two skins of wine, five sheep already dressed, five measures of parched grain, 100 clusters of raisins, and 200 cakes of figs, and laid them on donkeys. And she said to her servants, Go on before me; behold, I come after you. But she did not tell her husband Nabal.
As she rode on her donkey, she came down hidden by the mountain, and behold, David and his men came down opposite her, and she met them. Now David had said, Surely in vain have I protected all that this fellow has in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that belonged to him; and he has repaid me evil for good. May God do so, and more also, to David if I leave of all who belong to him one male alive by morning.
When Abigail saw David, she hastened and lighted off the donkey, and fell before David on her face and did obeisance. Kneeling at his feet she said, Upon me alone let this guilt be, my lord. And let your handmaid, I pray you, speak in your presence, and hear the words of your handmaid. Let not my lord, I pray you, regard this foolish and wicked fellow Nabal, for as his name is, so is he - Nabal [foolish, wicked] is his name, and folly is with him. But I, your handmaid, did not see my lord’s young men whom you sent. So now, my lord, as the Lord lives and as your soul lives, seeing that the Lord has prevented you from bloodguiltiness and from avenging yourself with your own hand, now let your enemies and those who seek to do evil to my lord be as Nabal. And now this gift, which your handmaid has brought my lord, let it be given to the young men who follow my lord.
Forgive, I pray you, the trespass of your handmaid, for the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord is fighting the Lord’s battles, and evil has not been found in you all your days.
Though man is risen up to pursue you and to seek your life, yet the life of my lord shall be bound in the living bundle with the Lord your God. And the lives of your enemies—them shall He sling out as out of the center of a sling. And when the Lord has done to my lord according to all the good that He has promised concerning you and has made you ruler over Israel, This shall be no staggering grief to you or cause for pangs of conscience to my lord, either that you have shed blood without cause or that my lord has avenged himself. And when the Lord has dealt well with my lord, then earnestly remember your handmaid.
And David said to Abigail, Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, Who sent you this day to meet me. And blessed be your discretion and advice, and blessed be you who have kept me today from bloodguiltiness and from avenging myself with my own hand. For as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, Who has prevented me from hurting you, if you had not hurried and come to meet me, surely by morning there would not have been left so much as one male to Nabal.
So David accepted what she had brought him and said to her, Go up in peace to your house. See, I have hearkened to your voice and have granted your petition
Take Abigail out of this story and the outcome would have been different and gory.
Replace Abigail with a woman lacking wisdom or one that could care less and I'm sure even David would have regretted the outcome.
As men, we act Foolish sometimes…we believe we know everything and we have figured it out. We try to rationalize things and we want to match requirements to disbursements. God made up for this ‘inadequacy’ by providing a woman to help make up for such shortcomings.
The Bible described Nabal (Abigail’s husband) as a rich man but “mean-spirited and of evil deeds”. Even his servants said of him in verse 17 “He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him”.
Regardless of these, Abigail was a good wife and a wise woman. She was:
Loving
Patient
Disciplined
Hardworking
Efficient
Organized
Discerning
Blessed with a gentle disposition
Blessed with pleasant speech (she said the right words).
The way she was able to arrange a ‘peace offering’ for David and his army within such a short notice speaks volume of her resourcefulness and organizational skills. 3 times in the passage the phrase “she made haste” was used.
She saw that her husband had made a big error…she didn’t pick that time to confront him. She chose to fix the potentially dangerous blunder first. She was able to defuse a 'ticking time bomb'.
She was able to give a soft answer and say the right thing to calm an angry David down. Proverbs 15:1 says “A gentle answer turns away wrath”
She was able to remind David of the scripture “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him” Proverbs 26:4
She recognized the need to humble herself and plead the cause of her husband before David and was willing to do so.
She risked her life, going to meet an angry David who had an army. Abigail was a courageous woman and her motive was to plead for the lives of others. She desired to protect the innocent people that worked for Nabal.
Abigail, is an example of a woman whom God has specifically held up as a pattern of right behavior in an unfortunate marriage. She could not have known that thousands of years later people in similar circumstances would find a role model in her and dare to do the impossible because of her, but God knew.
If you read the story further, you would see how she was repaid for her wisdom.
“Never let the evil disposition of one mate hinder the devotion and grace of the other. Never let the difficulties of your home lead you to abdicate your throne. Do not step down to the level of your circumstances, but lift them to your own high calling in Christ. ‘Be not conformed... but be ye transformed’ (Rom. 12:1, 2).” – F.B. Meyer
If you are married to a 'Nabal', how are you handling it?
N.B. This does not apply to a case of Physical abuse, if you are in a physically or emotionally abusive marriage/relationship…seek help
picture credit (c) walk-by-faith.com
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