The Speck In Her Eye (Part 7)

I promised my mum I would think about it and get back to her.

When I got back to Lagos, I told my wife I had talked to Mama and had resolved everything; I apologized to her again and assured her that my mum would back off and respect her stand on the issue.

My wife thanked me for protecting and defending her, and then she said there was something on her mind that she wanted to share with me.

“Maybe, we should see a reproductive endocrinologist and have them check what’s happening with us…I have had it on my mind for some days now. It’s as if the Spirit of God is nudging me in that direction”

I was shocked at what she said…
It may be a wrong philosophy but I believe what you don’t know can’t kill you or affect your faith. It’s called the “Ostrich Mentality” but it works for me. I would rather pray to God to heal me/keep me healthy than let a doctor tell me I have an ailment.

How could Funmi suggest this? Knowing what happened to her as a teenager. What if something’s wrong with her internal reproductive organs?

Different thoughts flooded my mind but I didn’t want to tell her these things, I didn’t want her to feel bad.

“Whose report will you believe? Does it matter what the medical experts find or say?

Are we not serving a God that can do exceedingly abundantly…?

A God that gave Sarah a child even when it was biologically improbable.

Doesn’t His word say “Let God be true and every man a liar”?

Doesn’t His word say “Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”? Why then do you need the report of men if we would ultimately go with God’s report?” I asked

Funmi was quiet for a while and I could tell she was trying to make sense of what I said. She later told me we should believe God’s report and trust Him completely.

I had completely forgotten about my last discussion with my mum until I received her call.

“They have found where the problem is o…I told you it’s not difficult for God, if you consult Him via the right channel.

I need to see you as soon as possible…if you can’t come, I will come to Lagos” My mum said, I could tell she was feeling smug about whatever her “discovery” was

“What problem Maami?” I responded

She told me it was about our last discussion and she had gone to see the Prophet.

“But I thought I told you I would get back to you on it” I protested

She said she had taken my “will think about it” as consent and decided to go ahead. She sounded like it was really urgent so I had to promise to come see her. I didn’t want her to come over because my wife was not aware of this new development.

I traveled to Ibadan two days later and was shocked to my core at what I heard.

“Baba said you guys are suffering as a result of something that happened to one of you while growing up…the consequence of a past that’s supposedly buried.”

“What are you covering Niran? What did you do? I have prayed and prayed and prayed…so you are the ‘Prince of Persia’ that’s blocking my answers?”

My mum just went on and on…I’ve known my mum to be highly sentimental but on this day it was on another level. It wasn’t long before she started to cry, the emotional blackmail was “on steroids”.

“Niran, o ti pa mi (Niran, you have killed me), I thought I raised you well, I thought I showed you the way of the lord.

But you chose your own path and now, we are all suffering for your hidden sin…even the poor girl that you married is being haunted by your past”

She would look to the sky and cry unto God

“Jesu, ma wo mi n’iran (Jesus, don’t forsake me), s’aanu mi (Have mercy on me) you are a merciful father, let your mercy rule over whatever judgment Niran has brought on us all”

I tried to calm her down but she was too flustered…she wasn’t even ready to listen to me. I could only imagine what she was cooking in her imagination.

When I could not take it anymore I blurted out “It’s not me Maami, it’s Funmi…”

My mum kept quiet immediately…and I could tell she was dumbfounded. She took her seat and just kept looking at me.

After minutes of silence, she started again

“Niran, so you knew your problem all along but chose to make a fool out of me?

Little wonder you guys didn’t want to go anywhere with me.

You intentionally married someone with defects and handed me a prayer assignment.

You know you are an only child…how could you make such a stupid mistake?
What stupid love would make you jeopardize your future? ”

I had to talk over her to explain what I meant as I could sense she had a totally different interpretation.

“Funmi was never a wayward girl, neither was she promiscuous…she was a victim of life’s cruelty and man’s inhumanity to a fellow human being…” I said, as I explained everything that Funmi went through. I thought my mum would feel sorry for my wife but she just had a blank stare on her face.

“Life dealt her a bad hand…accepted, and I commiserate with her.

God sees my heart, I feel sorry for her but why did you have to be the savior?

Why did you have to be the one to appeal life’s verdict for her…Mr. Agborandun (Advocate)”

“Everyone has issues in life, we all want to be at a place where we can alleviate our troubles not compound them.

Your own issue is that you are an only child with a dead father and an aging mother.

Why couldn’t you find someone whose issue was ‘over-fertility’ and be their savior?” she continued

“Maami, why are you talking like this? Ain’t you supposed to be a Christian?

Were you not the one that taught me to be kind, good and to love others as myself?” I interjected

“What I taught you was to love others as yourself, not more than yourself…even the Bible says that “…the lord commended the unjust steward, because he had DONE WISELY”.

God expects us to use wisdom when making life-shaping decisions.

You met me in this faith, I introduced you to this faith…you cannot bamboozle me with your new age Christian ideologies” My mum responded

It really got out of hands as we traded words back and forth…her arguments sounded selfish and unchristian-like…and she would not agree with whatever I was saying. I decided to take my leave as it was getting late and I didn’t even tell my wife I was travelling.

I thought we would be talking about the way forward or whatever the Prophet she saw, had ’prescribed’ but that didn’t seem to matter to her anymore, the moment she found out I wasn’t the ‘culprit’.

It was a deadlock…my mum was not ready to reason like a Christian. Her somewhat SELF-CENTERED motherly instincts totally clouded her spirituality.

Funmi could tell something was wrong with me when I got home but I told her I was just tired, I didn’t want to share it with her because it could break her.

I decided that night not to even bring Funmi into it at all...I would go back and see my mum, have her take me to the Prophet, follow whatever the prophet said and if there were prayer points, I would just add them to our family prayers and ask Funmi to pray along. The Funmi I know and married, would never question prayers...

PART 6                                                                                                                PART 8

Picture Credit (c) BET.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental   

© 2016 Lanre Olagbaju All Rights Reserved

The Speck In Her Eye (Part 6)

“Haba! You were the victim in this, why should that deter me? As a matter of fact, this makes me appreciate you even more. That you are still standing after all that happened to you, is a testament of your strength, faith and resilience. You are an example of a divine turn around. What the devil meant for evil, God turned it around and today you can stand tall and tell your story…the story of God’s redemption” I quickly responded 

Pastor Jeff turned to me and said “Brother Niran, I know you have prayed about this…but can you go pray some more, in light of this revelation and let me know what you decide?”

I wanted to decline the offer but he insisted…he said he knew why he said so and I should just obey. I felt so much pity for Funmi and something in me wanted to make up for all the hurts that life had thrown her way. I did not even bother to pray about anything…I just wanted to take Funmi straight to my mum, get her blessings and get married.

When Pastor Fred asked if I had prayed and made a decision, I said yes and that God had told me to go ahead.

That was how it became official…Funmi met my mum some weeks after that and it was love at first sight. My mum couldn’t hide her feelings; she hugged me and said she was proud of me…that just like my father, I knew how to find a good woman.

Not long after that, we started to plan the wedding…I couldn’t tell who was happier between Elder Sam and my mum.

We (Funmi and I) went through the counselling program for intending couples at the church, but I was more concerned with giving her the perfect wedding.

She was even mad at me when I missed one of the sessions. It wasn’t really my fault. I had gotten a friend in the US to help buy our wedding rings and he sent it through someone visiting Nigeria. The plan was to meet the person at the airport, collect the rings and head to church but the guy ended up being an old friend from school; so I hung out with him for a while and helped him settle in at his hotel. Funmi said I was taking the counselling with some form of levity.

I told her we had all we needed for a good home: Love for each other and the Spirit of God to guide us, there was no way we could fail. Besides, every marriage is unique and we didn’t really need to follow other people’s definition of it to be successful.

I still remember her response “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety”

I didn’t see what I did wrong but to avoid trouble, I apologized and told her I would buckle up.

Our wedding day was beautiful, it was all I had planned and hoped to give to Funmi…I just wanted her to be very happy and indeed, she was.

It all happened so fast after we got married, things went from good to better and everything I touched turned to gold.

In 3 years, we already built our own house and I had started my own company…lines were falling upon us in pleasant places.

I was able to convince my wife to resign from her banking job and I sent her to Harvard Business School for her MBA. I could afford the tuition; I was also able to visit her at least once every 2 months for the 2-year duration.

She had brought so much joy into my life and I just wanted to equip her for where life was taking us as a family. I kept running into favor everywhere I turned and I knew it had something to do with Funmi’s prayers…Ah! Funmi can pray…she would go on and on for hours. I would hear her mentioning my name and endeavors, committing everything into God’s hands.

We decided not to rush to have kids so we could enjoy each other before adding the responsibilities of parenthood, about 2 years into the marriage we started to try.

Funmi was beginning to get worried but I told her not to stress herself as companionship was the first reason for marriage and we had that. My mum on the other hand would not let us rest…she kept bugging me and at a point she started to talk to my wife about it.

One of my reasons for sending my wife abroad for her Masters was to get my mum off her case…I figured it would be a smart way of diffusing the brewing tension, if my wife was not within reach.

There was a time during one of my visits that we thought “it” had happened but my wife informed me after I got back to Nigeria, that it was false hope. I could tell she was really disappointed but I encouraged her that as soon as she was done with school, and we were back together, everything would work out fine.

My wife returned with her MBA, and got a very juicy offer with a multinational consulting firm. I advised her not to take the offer because I wanted her to take things easy and rest for a while as it would enhance our chances of getting pregnant. After all, it wasn’t as if she needed the money for anything.

Pastor Fred was not one to be afraid of such issues because his own wife waited almost 10 years before they had their first child…he would just encourage us from time to time not to let our faith shake.

“God has never failed…He has done it before, He will do it again. I have seen Him do this time and time again. Bro Niran, rest assured that it will end in celebration. There are children you just have to wait for…check in the Bible; children so great, their parents had to wait for their birth” He told me on our 6^th wedding anniversary when they visited us.

I never actually got worried until after the 6^th year of our wedding…I tried to hide my worries from my wife because I knew I was the only support she had.

My mum had suggested all sorts of Prayer Mountains and ministries. She even wanted us to undergo “deliverance” and was bringing the heat to my wife.

“Mummy, I am praying, and I will not stop until my joy is full. I have committed this into God’s hands and I know He will answer me. He always does. I believe in taking my case up with God and My kind of Christianity does not subscribe to the ministry of prayer-mediators. I know my God and I know His word” was the statement that caused a rift between my mum and Funmi; when my mum wanted to force her to go see a prophet in Ibadan.

Funmi had visited her, as usual, (my mum didn’t like coming to Lagos, so we did most of the visits) and had taken some groceries and money (monthly allowance) to her but the visit ended in my wife crying all the way back to Lagos.

My mum felt insulted that she could not make my wife change her mind and returned the things brought for her. She said she wanted grandchildren and not “Bournvita” and Milk.

I had to go to Ibadan to talk to my mum…I didn’t like how she treated my wife and she was not picking my calls.

I started by apologizing for whatever my wife did; then made her see what she did wrong. I reminded her that as a child of God, she should always let her words be seasoned with salt.

She "indirectly" said she was sorry (typical Yoruba mother) and started the emotional blackmail all over again. I also told her that we have been praying and we believe God for a miracle

“All those gentle-man prayers that you people do at your church? Is that what you call prayer? You need prayers that have fire in them…prayers that God cannot ignore. It’s not as if I’m offering you concoctions, neither have I advised you to go to the herbalist. I am only suggesting prayers. That was how I raised you, that was the path I showed you...and I can never mislead you. I know places we can go, where they call God and He answers” My mum responded

PART 5                                                                                                                PART 7

Picture Credit (c) theprayingwoman.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental   

© 2016 Lanre Olagbaju All Rights Reserved