The Speck In Her Eye (Part 9)

The following 3 weeks were tempestuous; home had become a shadow of its old self...the weird thing was that my wife still made food every single day. She would dish the food, put them in the dining, and then go back into the room. 

I just couldn’t bring myself to eat the food…I was too scared to do it. I felt like I would be eating food cooked in her tears. She would pack the dishes, throw the food away and cook again.

I felt so bad…I tried many times to make peace and discuss the issue but my wife was not ready emotionally for the talk.

Each time I brought up the issue, she would just sit there and look at me without saying a word.

At a point, I drove to Ibadan in anger and gave my mum a piece of my mind but it only made things worse. She made a scene and promised to place a curse on me for disrespecting her; after all she suffered to raise me.

She kept telling her neighbors (they gathered as usual) that I was under my wife’s manipulation and I had “eaten her vegetable soup” (a saying that connotes being under a spell because of what one has eaten from the person that cast the spell).

Pastor Fred later chastised me for that. He said I had no reason to be disrespectful to my mother because of the position she holds in my life and the promises of God attached to honoring our parents.

He said I was just looking for someone to blame for my own errors but I still didn’t agree…as far as I was concerned, all my mum had to do was keep it between us.

Pastor Fred’s office had become a must-visit for me because of encouragement and strength that I drew from talking to him. It was on one of those evenings that he confided in me that Funmi had almost moved out of the house but he had to intervene and put his foot down…he had to play his father card.

“Every day I spend in the house feels like being confined to a room with someone that stabbed you and almost killed you. Every time I see Niran, it opens up the wound and pain all over again. I know the Bible says to forgive but I need grace for this. It hurts so much…it hurts to my very core. I never knew anyone could hurt me more than my erstwhile uncle. I thought that was the height of pain and hurt…never knew betrayal could hurt more. The fact that he doesn’t seem to fully grasp or understand why I am hurt makes it even worse”

Those were my wife’s exact words when Pastor Fred told her she could not leave the house…he had to remind her of God’s word that says

“Do not pay anyone back evil for evil, but focus your thoughts on what is right in the sight of all people. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live in peace with all people. Do not take revenge”

To which my wife responded

“Daddy, I am not paying him evil for evil, I have no plans of taking or seeking revenge…I just want to walk away from him so he doesn’t get to pay me evil ever again. I will live in peace with him but from a distance. I don’t even wish him evil…I just want to be on my own”

Before that day, all I wanted was for things to go back to the way they used to be…I wasn’t really keen on who did what so I had not given it a lot of thought, all I wanted was for Funmi to forgive me. After I left Pastor Fred’s office that evening, a statement, my wife had made while talking to him, stuck with me

“The fact that he doesn’t seem to fully grasp or understand why I am hurt makes it even worse”.

I saw Mummy Pastor’s car as I was driving into our street, she flashed her headlights to acknowledge that she saw me, and then drove away…she was obviously coming from our house.

I greeted Funmi as I got to the house, and she answered me but quickly moved to the room. She had not really spoken to me in a while…before this day, she would just nod her head in response when I got home and greeted her.

I went into my study and sat there for hours…I started to analyze and dissect what I did. It wasn’t long before the Spirit of God made a mess of all my excuses and the valid reasons I thought I had.

The Holy Spirit not only convicted me but completely broke me…I sobbed like a child.

For the first time, I saw things from my wife’s perspective and I totally understood why she was deeply hurt. I got up and went to our bedroom where I met her crying, I held her feet and just washed them with my tears. I didn’t say anything...not a single word.

She didn’t push me away this time; she just cried along and after a while, sat on the floor with me as we cried together.

She later placed her head on my chest, one thing led to another and that was how we reconciled.

In the morning, I turned and Funmi was not on the bed, I quickly got up to look for her and there she was, preparing breakfast. I couldn’t help but give her a big hug and told her how much I love her.

We ate together(first time in about a month)…that was when she told me how Mummy Pastor was instrumental to her willingness to forgive me. The woman had been on her case and talked to her severally about unforgiveness and how it can hinder God’s move in one’s life.

They had prayed and fasted together for 3 days that God should touch my heart and make me realize what I did.

My joy knew no bounds but I still didn’t know how to bring up my mum’s issue…I was still thinking of how to start the conversation or the exact words to use when Funmi asked

“So what exactly did you tell Mama?”

I had to explain everything all over again, she obviously wasn’t listening to what I thought I said the day this started.

Funmi then reminded me of how she had wanted us to visit a fertility doctor but I declined.

Long story short, we scheduled an appointment with an endocrinologist and after 3 visits it was discovered that I was the one with infertility issues

“That’s impossible” I shouted at the doctor 

“How can you be sure?” The doctor asked

I then had to tell the story of how my girlfriend back in the university had gotten pregnant for me but we aborted it.

The doctor asked again how I could be sure I was responsible for that pregnancy.

I was a little angry, but that was not even important at that time… so I told her it had to be me because the girl was a virgin when I met her and I was her only boyfriend. It was the abortion that actually caused the break up. She just could not forgive herself and saw me as the devil so we went our separate ways.

Funmi was just looking at me like she was meeting me for the first time…she did not say a word. I wondered what was going through her mind.

“That being said, infertility may creep in at any point in a man’s life. So getting a woman pregnant at one point in a man’s life is not a true test of his present or future fertility” the Doctor said and that drove the message home.

She went on to explain the different causes of infertility in a man…I didn’t even know that wearing clothing that is too tight or swimming or bathing in hot water can increase a man’s risk.

Then she talked about untreated venereal diseases especially Gonorrhea and how it may cause infertility.

My heart skipped a bit when she mentioned Gonorrhea…I became uneasy that even my wife noticed. I then asked the doctor to help defined “untreated”

She gave a lecture on the disease but the part that bothered me was when she said “It is important for someone infected to take all of their antibiotics even if they think they have gotten better”.

“What’s it to you…how does this concern you Niran?” my wife finally asked

I had to delve into my hitherto hidden past…I told the story of how I had contracted Gonorrhea from another girlfriend of mine after the pregnant one left me. I didn’t know what was happening but I just kept feeling a burning sensation when I tried to urinate.

I opened up to a friend (a Medical student) and he told me it sounded like a VD. He advised me to buy some antibiotics and told to take them for about 7 days. I was a little broke and the medication was not that cheap, so when I felt better around the 4^th day, I discontinued and completely forgot about the disease.

“I guess we know where to start looking…we’ll run some more tests and know how to tackle this” said the doctor

I felt so ashamed as we left the hospital…it wasn’t the disease, it was how my mum and her prophet were kinda right but we were all barking at the wrong tree.

My wife did not say anything…I could see tears in her eyes as we drove home. I really appreciated the way she handled it, she could have said many things but I could tell she was painfully killing the thoughts and the urge.

As soon as we got home, I apologized again and promised to square thing up with my mum…leaving nothing hidden anymore. My wife told me not to tell anyone what we were told but instead, we should just be prayerful and hope for a solution.

I told her I would tell Pastor Fred but she objected as well

“People already know too much about our lives and marriage already, let’s focus on the One who has a solution. I believe He will see us through” She said

It was later confirmed that there was low sperm count due to epididymal obstruction and it was traceable to the “untreated” Gonorrhea.

Good news was it was still treatable but we had to do something fast.

I had to travel abroad for a surgery they called "testicular biopsy"

Funmi is currently 6 months pregnant and I couldn’t be happier. She found a way to fix things between her and my mum. As a matter of fact, it was my mum that first told us she dreamt that Funmi became pregnant.

I just bought her ticket to travel to the United States to deliver the baby and I thought about how we got here.

I was busy focusing on the speck in her eye when there was a plank in mine


All I can do is thank God for helping me save my marriage…


 PART 8                                                                                                                THE END

 Picture Credit (c) MadameNore
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental   

© 2016 Lanre Olagbaju All Rights Reserved