The Wife Of Your Youth

Rejoice In The Wife Of Your Youth

The Bible says in Proverbs 5, verses 15 through 20 “Drink waters out of your own cistern [of a pure marriage relationship], and fresh running waters out of your own well.

Should your offspring be dispersed abroad as water brooks in the streets?

[Confine yourself to your own wife] let your children be for you alone, and not the children of strangers with you.

Let your fountain [of human life] be blessed [with the rewards of fidelity], and rejoice in the wife of your youth.

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant doe [tender, gentle, attractive]—let her bosom satisfy you at all times, and always be transported with delight in her love.

Why should you, my son, be infatuated with a loose woman, embrace the bosom of an outsider, and go astray?”

The word ‘rejoice’ is a verb…an action word, it is not a feeling, it is something you do. It means to show great joy or delight. I have thought about it over and over again, why would God want a husband to rejoice in his wife and why the term “of your youth”?

Note! This is not the same as “rejoice in your young wife”…

The ‘wife of your youth’ is that girl you married when you both were younger.

That girl you could not wait to tell anyone that cared to listen, how much she meant to you.

You want to know the wife of your youth? Grab your wedding pictures and look over and over again…

That is the mental picture God wants you to keep in your mind.

That girl that chose to love you, trust you and be vulnerable with you.

That girl that chose you over everyone else

That girl you used to jump for joy when you realized she was the one calling

That girl that saw you when you had nothing but believed in you and your dreams.

That girl that saw what you could become and chose to be part of the process and not just an opportunistic ‘consumer’.

That girl that has remained faithful to you through the years, despite your weaknesses and failings, through the many hardships, by the grace of God.

She is not something you can trade in for a ‘newer model’…Malachi 2:14 says “You cry out, "Why doesn't the LORD accept my worship?" I'll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows”.

That vow you made on your wedding day was not just formality, it was a covenant between both of you and God.

Remember when the priest said "Do you take this woman/man to be your wife/husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor, and keep her/him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?"

And you said “I do”? That’s when the covenant was cut.

There are men that would be unfaithful, even if they married ‘Miss World’ and she stayed young forever…however, there are people that never planned to be unfaithful but somehow they just found themselves romantically attracted to other people.

A romantic attraction to someone other than one’s spouse could indicate that there is a gap/disconnect; and/or a husband and a wife are not paying attention to each other’s needs. It could be the husband continually ignoring the wife or the wife constantly criticizing the husband. Before you know it, another person (It could be at work or even the church) seems to possess the very qualities that are lacking in one’s mate. This person just starts appearing as the ‘PERFECT’ mate. Soon a bond forms, and the new relationship becomes almost irresistibly alluring. One thing leads to another and voila.

 

There are men that got ensnared while trying to comfort/be there for sisters that are going through issues in their marriage.

 

Sir, avoid becoming the personal/sole confidant of a sister who is experiencing perplexing difficulties in marriage. Let such a sister know that marital problems are best discussed with her husband or with a mature Christian sister who knows/practices God’s counsel regarding marriage.

 

Sir, at work and everywhere else, be wary of situations that might foster unnecessary closeness and intimacy between you and another woman. The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:22 “Flee from all appearance of evil”…don’t wait to find out if it is evil. When it comes to evil, please be paranoid.

 

Spending (non-work related) time with a lady you already know you are attracted to at work, can easily set the stage for temptation. Flirting with a person like this, is equally dangerous…keep your compliments to yourself.

 

As a married man, ALWAYS make it clear in your speech and by your demeanor that you are simply not available. Having pictures of your wife and children conspicuously displayed around the work area will serve as a visual reminder to you and to others that you have priorities.

 

Determine never to encourage/ tolerate seductive precursors from any woman. The Bible talks about Job that made a covenant with his eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman Job 31:1

 

Be cautious of women that know you are married but are always giving you the ‘looks’ and always saying sweet things about you in a way that makes you uncomfortable…Proverbs 5:3-4 says “As a honeycomb the lips of a strange woman keep dripping, and her palate is smoother than oil. But the aftereffect from her is as bitter as wormwood; it is as sharp as a two-edged sword.” 

 

Guard your heart...the Bible says in Proverbs 4:23 “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life”. 

 

Sir, do not look outside your marriage to satisfy your desires…whether for friendship, support (during a challenging ordeal) or for affection. Seeking solace in a romance/relationship outside of marriage is never the answer to marital problems. That’s why you have a wife…that’s her job.

“But she doesn’t get me…” you say

Make her get you; speak to her in a language she understands.

Work with her to build/solidify a loving relationship.

Spend time together, draw closer to each other.

Never forget what caused you to fall in love with her.

Recapture the warmth you felt towards her that made you choose her as your future partner.

Decorate your heart with ‘frames of good memories’ made together…hang them on the walls of your heart. Think of the good times you have enjoyed together.

Above all, pray for God’s intervention. 

Always remember…

Life is too short for the needless drama

There is so much that God has entrusted in our hands that we will give account of

Time is a luxury we don’t have (who promised you tomorrow)

Live with the consciousness that it doesn’t end ‘here’…how we live ‘here’ determines where we live ‘there’

Ecclesiastes 9 verse 9 says Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun--all your meaningless days. For this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.

 

Picture credit (c) freerepublic.com

 

Hate Ain't Innate

Yesterday afternoon, my daughters went outside to play and came back in, some minutes later, to ask if they could play with the neighbor’s kids.

We were curious to see the kids because we didn’t even know we had neighbors with kids. Apparently the neighbor’s kids had done the same. We stepped out to see them and there they were with their mom as well.

Long story short, they were in our house and we were in theirs for the rest of the day…the kids played like they had known themselves for ever. They played dress up, they had a tea party, and they played with Frisbees.

The girls were crying when their mom told them it was time to go home…my daughters were crying too

The girls are Caucasian…I wondered all night why we still have racism.

If kids could be that innocent and friendly; no discrimination whatsoever…at what point does racism creep in?

Matthew 18:3 was on my mind “And he said: Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”…if only we could truly be like little children (childlikeness not childishness), what a beautiful world we would have.

I know there are some parents that teach their kids to be afraid and wary of other races but above all, I think the society also finds a way to corrupt some of those that were not raised that way.

We may not be able to change what parents teach their kids but we can help rid the society of racism.

Racism is not innate…it is learned.

Do your part to rid the society of hate and discrimination

picture credit (c) galleryhip.com

 

Wedding Day Love

On my wedding day, the bride was very late. She was almost an hour late, the choir had almost run out of songs and her pastor was getting worried.

I called her phone but she refused to pick up...I was sooooooo angry.

When she finally arrived, I was already frowning and didn't wanna talk to her. As the ceremony went on, I didn't even know when I started talking to her and holding her hand...the "love of the day" was just too strong for the anger to thrive or survive.

You may outgrow your wedding gown or suit...you may even throw them away. You may lose your wedding ring...you may even lose your wedding video DON'T EVER lose or outgrow your "wedding day love". Let it be your "MARRIAGE LOVE". That very feeling you had when you were exchanging vows, keep it burning...keep it alive. Treasure that moment for "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." -Matthew 6:21

May the JOY you felt on your wedding day be present all through your MARRIAGE in Jesus' name.

Picture Credit (c) Memeoirs

Even A Threefold Cord...

For my Physics people, do you remember the terms "Elastic Limit" and "Yield Point"?

Eccl 4:12 says "...and a threefold cord is not quickly broken"

Which implies that even a threefold cord CAN be broken, if the tension or gnawing or cutting is persistent. The threefold cord in marriage means the couple with God...this composition (Man, Wife and God) solidifies the marriage and gives a good foundation to withstand the inevitable storms and turbulence. However, no matter how solid a structure is, persistent storms will weaken it's foundation and if the storms continue, ultimately the building will collapse. Nothing is made to be continuously subjected to stress...not even marriage.

Dear Married, 'de-stress' your marriage from time to time.

Get rid of or minimize things that cause tensions at home

Learn how to forgive your spouse EASILY...grudges put tension on your marriage

Don't keep record of wrongs

Learn how to ignore the little things (it stops you from constantly complaining/nagging)

Learn how to compromise

Learn how to make frequent deposits in your emotional account (you may need to make a huge withdrawal someday)

If you must, only discuss your marriage with people that understand and appreciate GODLY marriage (don't make a habit of this though)

Don't do anything without consulting the 3rd "string"...when we disregard His involvement and significance, it weakens the cord.

Prayerfully combat every storm, turbulence and attack

I pray peace and bliss in our homes and marriages in Jesus' name.

Picture Credit (c) www.pacificasynod.org

Honor My Parents? Why should I?

The word honor means to regard with great respect.
To esteem, respect, admire, appreciate, value, reverence, revere, venerate, hallow
It means to HOLD SACRED

The Bible says in Deuteronomy 5:16 “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you”

Honor is something a child owes the OFFICE of Father and Mother…irrespective of who occupies this office.
The scripture “give… honor to whom honor is owed” (Romans 13:7) shows that we owe it to our parents to honor them.
When you owe someone, it does not matter whether you like the person or not. It doesn’t matter if you can stand the person’s attitude or not…you still pay what you owe.

If children knew the blessings inherent in honoring parents, they would do all within their power to honor their parents
If children knew the danger in dishonoring a Sacred Position like that of a parent, they would never attempt to dishonor them.

This may be a little harsh but I’m just sharing it to show how dire it was to dishonor one’s parents in the Old Testament. Leviticus 20:9 says “Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death. Because they have cursed their father or mother, their blood will be on their own head”

Deuteronomy 27:16 says “Cursed is anyone who dishonors their father or mother…"

 

Ever wondered why God did not add any condition to the scripture “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord”?

I believe it is so that the responsibility of honor is not taken off the child.

Even if a father provokes a child to wrath…it does not justify dishonor.

It does not invalidate Deuteronomy 5:16.

It is not a loophole.

It does not make it permissible.

 

Remember the story of the Uzzah in 1 Chronicles 13, who out of zeal for God’s things touched the Ark of Covenant? The Ark was a sacred thing which only Levites could touch…Uzzah’s intentions did not excuse the violation.

Whatever a parent does, a child should still keep his/her own part of this divine arrangement.

I am not justifying Parental abuse…I am simply saying nothing justifies dishonoring our parents.

In Genesis 9, after the flood, Noah got drunk and misbehaved…whose fault? His fault. However, one of his sons, Ham saw him and mocked him…he even called his brothers to come partake in the mockery…they were wiser than Ham and chose to ‘honor’ their father. They even covered him up…they respected him to the point that they had to walk in backwards to cover him up because they could not bear to see their father in that state. They obviously did not want to keep a mental picture of the situation.

When Noah came to his senses (verse 24), he knew what had happened and there was a repercussion…a stiff one  

 

Honoring your father and mother is being respectful in word and action and having an inward attitude of esteem for their position.

As an American, you may disagree with the President’s decisions, but you are obligated to still respect his position as leader of the country. Similarly, children of ALL ages should honor their parents, regardless of whether or not their parents ‘deserve’ honor.

We are to honor them in actions and attitudes…although we may no longer be directly under their authority, we cannot outgrow the commandment.

An important skill every grown child needs in dealing with parents is assertiveness. Assertiveness means standing up for your personal rights - expressing thoughts, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and appropriate ways. It means to get your point across without upsetting others, or becoming upset yourself.

Parents are also accountable to God…do your part as a child and follow God’s instructions.

“Honor begets honor. God will not honor those who will not obey His command to honor their parents. If we desire to please God and be blessed, we should honor our parents. Honoring is not easy, is not always fun, and certainly is not possible in our own strength. But honor is a certain path to our purpose in life—glorifying God” – Wayne Mack

Let me end with this scripture in Colossians 3:20 “Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord”

We live in a time where there is so much disobedience to and dishonor for parents…don’t be part of the statistics. If your parents have provoked you and you are dishonoring them…I beseech you today, forgive them. Do it because you want to obey God. Do it because you do not want somebody else’s error cause you to go against God’s principle. 

I found this link that may be helpful if you still feel like "How can I honor my parents when I feel they don't deserve it"

Click Here

Grace abounds

Picture credit (c) butlerpartyof3.com

Out Of The Mouths Of...

The Bible says in Proverbs 18:15 “The mind of the prudent acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge”.

One intriguing thing about knowledge is, it can come from ANY source…the same is true about relationship advice. They can come from
 
(i)        Those that got it right,
(ii)        Those that made a mess of it and learned a lesson or two
(iii)       Those that know the right things to do but just won’t do it (there is this wise saying that even a dead watch/clock is right twice a day)

I compiled a list of some love quotes and advice given by celebrities and they make so much sense…but always remember, the best relationship advice is “KNOW WHAT WORKS FOR YOU”

Here are some of them:

"Solve problems as soon as possible…together" Mala K. (Nip it in the bud)

"There should be no secrets between us." Yukari T. (If it would cause issues when found out, say it now)

"Be independent before entering a relationship. It's better when two people want each other more than they need each other." Katrina W. (interdependent relationships work better than co-dependent ones)

"Everyone has a past…good or bad. Don't let your partner's past ruin your future." Camz G. (If it already happened before you met and you can handle it, let it stay buried)

"Don't punish your partner for your ex’s mistakes."  Anita M. (Leave the baggage of past relationships where they belong…in the past)

"Admit when you're wrong and don't gloat when you're right." Carole S. (come on, It is not a competition)

"Never chase. Always be chased. If he isn't willing to pursue you, he isn't worth your time." Dez M. (Women, let him do the wooing)

"Talk to him like he's someone you love…even when you're furious with him." Ginny M. (Let love be your motive even when you are correcting and angry)

"Trust him until you're given a reason otherwise." Lacy W (Give everyone the benefit of doubt)

"If you don't love ‘em like crazy, you don't love ‘em enough." Christelle F. (If you are not ready to give all, don’t bother going into the relationship)

"Appreciate the little things." Dawn-Marie D. (Take nothing for granted)

"Talk to each other about problems not friends and family." Alicia J. (Discuss issues not people)

"Life is so much better when you show each other how much you care." Jessica J. (Don’t just say it…show it)

"Differences are inevitable, so compromise and respect are key" Danica T. (Compromise is the antidote to our differences)

"Always look and smell better than your man." Rose M. (Don’t ever stop being beautiful for your man)

"Jealousy is a waste of time and energy." Codi T. (If there’s a reason to be jealous, talk about it…never let it find root)

Some think love can be measured by the amount of butterflies in their tummy. Others think love can be measured in bunches of flowers, or by using the words 'forever.' But love can only truly be measured by actions. It can be a small thing, such as peeling an orange for a person you love because you know they don't like doing it. Marian Keyes

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. Thomas Merton

We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it. John Lennon

So many people prefer to live in drama because it's comfortable. It's like someone staying in a bad marriage or relationship - it's actually easier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versus leaving and not knowing what to expect. Ellen DeGeneres

There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love. Bryant McGill

If you're married, and you have a wife, and you really love your wife, is it good enough to only say to your wife 'I love her' the day you get married? Or should you tell her every single day when you wake up and every opportunity? And that's how I feel about my relationship with Jesus Christ is that it is the most important thing in my life Tim Tebow

Courage means to keep working a relationship, to continue seeking solutions to difficult problems, and to stay focused during stressful periods. Denis Waitley

If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it. Mother Theresa

Let me end with this scripture in Proverbs 1:5 “A wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel…”

Picture Credit (c) quotepixel.com

Experience, the best teacher?

Ever heard the saying "Experience Is The Best Teacher"?
It's true...but THERE IS A BETTER TEACHER
The Bible says in Psalm 119:99-100"I have more insight than all my teachers (including experience), for I meditate on your statutes. I have more understanding than the elders, for I obey your precepts"

That's why Apostle Paul, although unmarried, was and still remains the greatest marriage counselor in the New Testament. It was not about experience...it was through KNOWING and OBEYING the word of God.

 
As a young person going into marriage, LEARN what the WORD says and APPLY it through OBEDIENCE...and experience's got nothing on you. As a matter of fact, apply it in all areas of your life...you can NEVER miss it.

Picture credit (c) silhouettedesignstore.com

The A-M-A-T-S syndrome

The A-M-A-T-S syndrome

I’m sure we have all heard that saying “All Men Are The Same”

Most women who have had some bad relationships have this opinion about all men. Some ladies who have been victims of bad relationships will tell you, that all men are goats/dogs/animals…can you blame them?

But can this be true that all men are the same? Obviously not…all men are NOT the same,

Although the "all men are the same" statement reflects these women's frustration at this and is commonly heard when the men in their lives exhibit lack (or a perceived lack) of understanding of what/how their women feel about particular events or situations.

It is true that there are a lot of guys out there with the mind of just ‘testing the water’ but that doesn’t mean that every guy has ulterior motives.

Dear ladies, let me keep it real…someone once said the definition of madness is doing something the same way and expecting a different result.

Come to think of it…

Could it be that the women who make this claim have filtered the men they get involved with; so, of course, those men actually are all the same?

In computer programming, a filter is a program or section of code that is designed to examine each input or output request for certain qualifying criteria and then process or forward it accordingly

Filters in this case could be things like Looks, Lifestyle, Social Circle, Personality and so on. If you love dating hunks (which is not a bad thing) and you set that as a filter, you will ONLY see and be attracted to hunks. If you love guys with cool cars and you set that as a filter…I’m sure you get the gist.

It’s not a bad thing to set filters but let it be intangibles like devotion, fidelity, responsibility and those ‘ultimately’ important things.

Could it be that a large percentage of women that make the statement are the ones that keep dating the same type of guy? And when the inevitable break up happens, they complain that "all men are the same?

There is this anonymous quote

“It's easy to say all men are the same...but the real issue is, all the men YOU PICK are the same”.

Of course, not every relationship leads to marriage, there will be disagreements along the way and if they are irreconcilable, people may go their separate ways. But people should learn something valuable that will help them in another relationship.

As a lady, a failed relationship should not just make you bitter, it should teach you lessons. You should not just hold on to the hurts of the past…the Bible says in Philippians 3:13 “... forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead”.  

You should become a better person through it.

It should help you determine if you have been settling for less than you deserve.

It should make the picture clearer…the picture of the kind of person you should be with.

It should help you redefine what you want in a partner and how to spot these things.

Trust me, there are many great men out there waiting for the right partner, you just have to learn how to sift through the chaff.

Let me end with this, the wrong guy can cause a woman to hate all men…However the RIGHT man can show her not all men are the same

Picture Credit (c) 2nerd.com